The Adventures of Two Sexy Waffles
by QueandVee
Summary: Two girls mysteriously wind up in the Yu Yu Hakusho universe. You may think you've read it before, but trust us, you've never seen anything like the mayhem that is to come! KuramaXOC HieiXOC
1. Chapter 1

Que: Hi Y'all! This is our first story written together, so hopefully there are no mistakes, because we presently have no beta reader. Our goal is to make you laugh, so if you're not laughing, that means we're doing something wrong. All the stories to come will be written by the two of us and typed up by me, because Vee has horrible grammar.

Vee: Hey!

Que: Don't deny it, you were this close to strangling me for trying to correct your grammar while you were writing it down!

Vee:…Shut up.

Que: Anyhoo, on with the story!

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission.

* * *

Chapter One

Once upon a time, there was a bunny rabbit…

Okay now seriously.

It all started with a scavenger hunt. It was all Susan's idea, so of course she made them call her 'Her Majestic Holiness Queen Mayor Susan'. I mean _really_. Although one had to admit, she was efficient. She came up with the list, the location, and the other participants!

The day of the hunt, everyone gathered at the Forest of Doom (okay, so it wasn't really called the Forest of doom, but the actual nickname was way worse, so I gave it a nickname). Once everyone was present, they were split into four teams of two. Each team got a list and a camera. The teams' names were 'The Flamin' Bunniez', 'The Doughnutkabobs', 'The Miffed Kumquats', and 'Chinchilla Verde'.

By this time, you're probably wondering who the heck the main characters are! Well, in fact, it's two someones. Their names are Ryo Greendale and Lilith Blake. They were both pretty average high school students. They had known each other since grade school, and had become best friends after they realized they had all the same classes together. They were very close and were drawn together by the same love. Cheese. Yes, I do mean cheese. Gouda.

But that's a tad off topic, more about our sexy main characters!

Ryo was the shorter one of the two and was very sensitive about that fact. She had short, straight blond hair, swimming pool blue eyes, and a scary obsession with manga. Lilith was much taller than Ryo, and tormented her frequently about it. She had very short, curly brown hair, hazel eyes, and an unhealthy obsession with monster energy drink. Both of them wore glasses.

Now that you know a little about our heroines, ON WITH THE STOOOORY!!!

…Wow, that was epic.

Once they'd split into teams (Roy and Lilith being the Flamin' Bunniez), Susan gave the starter aaaaaaand – THEY WERE OFF! Ryo and Lilith's list cited these items:

An acorn cap.

A fuzzy green caterpillar.

A flat rock.

A clover.

A penny.

Litter from McDonalds.

A three-foot hole. (This was what the camera was for.)

A fox den. (Also what the camera was for.)

A maple leaf.

A purple bhudda.

…Wait a minute, rewind…a purple bhudda?! Yes, it actually _was_ one of the items on the list. Once they got over the initial shock, they had this to say;

"Is this some kind of joke, or does she actually expect us to _find_ a purple bhudda?" That was Ryo speaking. She was the sensible one…at times…

"I don't know," said Lillith, "But that is so COOL!"

"Heck yeah!"

And so they began their search, the McDonalds litter being the first thing they found. Eventually though, the search became tiresome. Finally, they had found every thing except the three-foot hole, and of course…

"How in this godforsaken craphole are we going to find a purple bhudda?!" called Lilith.

"I don't know, maybe Susan hid one as a bonus item. Just keep looking!"

It was then that Ryo's love of all things shiny caused her to be sidetracked by a glint on the ground. Yes, cliché as it sounds; she had an attraction to things that shine.

"Ooh, what's this?!" said Ryo, and immediately snatched it up. It appeared to be a small round gem attached to a string.

"Well this looks valuable…" she mused.

It was then that she heard Lilith exclaim, "Oh yay! Come look, a three-foot hole!"

Ryo pocketed the gem and started towards Lilith's voice, when she heard, "NOOOO!!! Oh great, I dropped the darn camera!"

She picked up her pace and found Lilith peering into the hole. It was rather dark, but Lilith was sure she could see the camera. She tried to reach it, but the hole was deeper than she expected, and she lost her balance. In order that she wouldn't fall in, she grabbed Ryo. However, this only caused Ryo to lose her balance as well, and they both fell in, screaming at the top of their lungs. They couldn't tell for sure, but it was definitely _not _a three-foot hole!

* * *

Que: And that concludes the first chapter of our first story! We hope you enjoyed it!

Vee: But if you didn't, we don't care!

Que: Hope to see you soon, and remember – no reviews, no new chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Que: Hello again! Vee and I thank you all for your generous reviews-.

Vee: How do you know I do? I haven't said anything yet.

Que: Because I can read your mind. Shut up.

Vee: I don't wanna!

Que: **pelts Vee with waffles **

On with the story!

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission.

* * *

Chapter Two

After what seemed like hours of falling, they finally found solid ground…with their butts…ow. The first thing Lillith said was, "Aww man, we didn't even get the camera!"

Ryo glared at her and pushed her off. "We just fell down a hole that's who knows how deep with probably no way of getting out, and you're worried about the _camera?!_"

"Uh…yes?"

Cue anime fallover.

"Ryo?"

Ryo sighed and said, "Ah well, I suppose we'll just have to start yelling and hope our voices can carry that far-"

"SOMEONE PLEASE LET US OUT!!! Now wait!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Nope, they can't hear us."

Ryo shook her head. "Maybe you should let _me _try."

She grabbed her lower lip and sucked in, making a loud piercing whistle. The exact whistle that made Lilith want to lock her in a safe on the ocean floor across the world and pelt her with rubber bands until she swears she'll stop.

"CRAP! Must you make that god-awful racket?!"

"Do you _want _to be found?"

"Uh, no, not if _that _is the cost!"

Ryo was about to reply, when suddenly they heard a voice from above. "Is there someone down there?"

Looking up, they saw a big mass of red hair attached to a person! "Uh, hmm – YES!" screamed Lilith.

"Now is not the time for sarcasm!" said Ryo smacking Lilith, then she looked up. "Could you please help us? We're kind of trapped down here!"

"Of course! Just one moment." Said the big red mass, and disappeared from view.

After about 15 seconds…

"…TAKE YOUR OWN SWEET TIME! IT'S NOT AS IF ANYBODY IS TRAPPED OR ANYTHING!"

…Lilith was rather impatient.

It was then that the big red mass reappeared and threw down one end of a rope. "Grab on!" it said.

"…No, really." Said Lilith.

Rolling her eyes at Lilith, Ryo grabbed the rope and began the treacherous climb, with Lilith on her tail. Once they reached the top, the big red mass helped them out of the hole. "Are you two alright?" it asked.

It was then that Lilith realized that the helpful red mass was actually a person with long, luscious red hair, and emerald green eyes. "Wow, you're pretty!" she said, and she turned to Ryo. "Isn't she pretty Ryo?"

There was a pregnant pause, then the person blushed and said, "Um, actually, I am of the _male _persuasion."

Lilith blinked, then she blushed deeply and mumbled almost incoherently, "You seem very in-touch with your feminine side."

Ryo doubled over in laughter. Lilith glared at her. "OH COME ON, LIKE YOU'RE NOT THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING!"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have said it out loud!"

"That's why _you're_ the smart one!"

The red haired stranger began to protest. "Ladies, it's alright, it happens all the time!"

Ryo perked up at this. "Really? And you still haven't changed how you look? What are you, some kind of man-whore?"

"Oh you'll say _that _out loud!" said Lilith, shaking her head. Then she held her hand out to the stranger. "Hi, I'm Lilith."

The stranger gave her a weird look, then tentatively shook her hand. "I'm…Kurama."

Lilith smiled. "That's a pretty name!"

Ryo shook her head. "And I'm Ryo, the smart one, as she put so eloquently." Then she frowned. "Say, you look familiar. Did you say your name was Kurama?"

"…yes…"

Ryo's eyes got really big. "Could you wait here one second? I'd like to talk to my friend for a moment."

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Of course."

"Alright, don't go away. Stay right where you are. Seriously, don't move."

She then practically dragged Lilith to the other side of the holes opening and whispered furiously, "Do you have any idea who that is???"

"I don't caaaaaare!" said Lilith, with a lovesick puppy look on her face.

"That's Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho! Do you know what that means?!"

Lilith gave her a blank look. "…I don't, actually."

"Either he is a _very_ dedicated cosplayer, or we are in a world that isn't supposed to _exist!_"

"…Is that a problem? He's hot!

"Hello, of course it's a problem!!! We have no idea how we got here, let alone how we're going to get back! Our families and friends are going to _miss _us!"

"Oh that…let's rewind – HE'S HOT! Are we clear?"

"No! Bad girl! You can't fall in love with a fictional character!"

"I'm not going to fall in love with him, just like him…a lot…and hold his hand…and hug him…and kiss him…and-"

"That's close enough! Besides, didn't you accuse him of being a girl just now?"

"Well, yeah…and your point is?"

"Oh, so you're into girly men now?"

"Just one! And can we go back now?" She looked at Kurama. "He looks lonely."

Ryo sighed and rubbed her temples. "Well, since we have no way of getting back, as far as we know, I suppose we have no choice but to ask him for help. Just try to keep the lovesick looks to a minimum.'

"Yay!"

They returned to a concerned-looking Kurama. "Are you two sure you're alright? Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Yes! You can – OW!" Lilith's excited response was cut off by Ryo's foot tactfully placed on her toes.

"Yes, you can. See, we're really far from home…really, _really_ far…and we have no way to get back."

Kurama smiled. "I would be glad to help. Where do you live?"

Billings, Montana." Said Lilith, before Ryo could stop her.

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that in America?" he asked.

Ryo put her head in her hand. Great Lilith, now we have to tell him the truth!"

Kurama looked hurt. "I would have hoped that you would have told me the truth the first time, but now that you've deemed it necessary, I'd like to hear it."

And so Ryo came clean. Lilith filled in here and there while she stared at Kurama. A lot.

* * *

Que: Yay, another chapter done! And this one's longer than the first one! Aren't you proud of us?

Vee: You shouldn't be, it wasn't that hard.

Que: Vee, I have two words for you: Monster deprivation.

Vee: 0.0 I'll be good!

Que: That's a good girl. Remember peoples, no reviews, no new chapters! Peace out Home-dawgs!

Vee: …what?


	3. Chapter 3

Que: Greetings friends! Let me say that we are so grateful for all of your reviews! We're glad we could make you smile!

Vee: God, you sound like a freaking nerd!

Que: At least I don't have a scary monster addiction!

Vee: What about yours to the yellow monster?

Que: 9.9 That's different. **Clears throat** Anyhoo, on with the story!

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission.

* * *

Chapter Three

When Ryo was finished, Kurama crossed his arms. "I see," he said. "And you weren't going to tell me this, why?"

Ryo looked ashamed. "Because…because I didn't think you would believe us."

"I had com_plete_ faith in you!" interjected Lillith.

Kurama closed his eyes. "If what you say is true, and in your world my life is in a manga which you've read every book of, then you should know by now that things like this don't surprise me."

"So you believe us?!" exclaimed Lilith.

"Believe it or not, yes I do."

"Does that mean you'll help us?" asked Ryo.

Kurama glanced at Lilith, then back at Ryo. "Against my better judgment, yes."

"Yay!" shouted Lilith.

As Ryo watched Lilith jumping for joy, she turned to Kurama. "How now brown cow?"

"…What?"

"What. Do. We. Do. Next."

"I suppose I should take you to meet the rest of the gang"

"… There's a gang? You're in it? COOL!" Lilith was scarily stupid when she got boy-crazy.

Ryo slapped her forehead "Lilith, is it even possible for you to use your brain when you're crushing?"

Lilith wasn't paying attention "…what?"

"Crushing?" Kurama asked, confused.

Ryo shook her head "Never mind, let's go meet everyone else."

And so they traversed to Kurama's apartment, much to the delight of Lilith. "Oh my gosh, you have your own apartment?! How cool!" Just then, Kurama's mother came down the stairs. "Oh, and your own cleaning lady? Wow!

Ryo kicked her in the shin. "Baka! He lives with his family: that's his _mother_!"

"Oh yeah…that makes _way_ more sense! Thanks for reminding me why I keep you around."

"Yeah, 'cause if you didn't you'd survive on peanut butter sandwiches and ramen!"

Kurama and his mother were looking rather confused by now, and she asked, "Shuichi, who are they?"

"Wait, who's Shuichi?" asked a puzzled Lilith.

Putting her arm around Lilith's shoulders, Ryo said, "Ha, oh you kidder you, that's very funny! Excuse me for a moment!" and practically dragged her into the other room.

"Who's kidding?" asked Lilith, once they were out of hearing distance.

"Do you not remember all the times I explained this series to you?! Shuichi is Kurama's _human_ name!"

Lilith gave her a skeptical glance. "Human name? Seriously? Hold on, I'll go warn the Wizard of Oz."

Ryo threw her hands in the air. "That doesn't even make any sense! Look, just trust me, when you're around his mother, always call him Shuichi!"

Lilith shrugged. "Whatever you say Ryo, you know the series better than anyone."

"That's right, bow before my superior intelligence!"

"Oh. My. God. NO!"

They walked back to the living room. "Sorry about that," said Ryo. "I thought Lilith looked sickly."

Lilith glared at Ryo, then smiled at Kurama's mother and said, "Hi, I'm Lilith, the not-as-smart-as-Ryo-creepy-stalker one."

"And I'm Ryo, the more…together one."

Kurama's mother looked slightly confused, but she smiled and said, "I'm Shuichi's mother, but you can call me Shiori."

Kurama/Shuichi stepped forward. "Mother, these two have no way to get home, and they need a place to stay."

Shiori's eyes softened. "I would love to have them stay here, but we have guests this week, you knew that Shuichi. Besides, it wouldn't be proper for two girls who aren't related to you to stay in your home."

Kurama nodded. "I understand, Mother." He turned to Ryo and Lilith. "It looks like we are going to have to find somewhere else for you to stay."

And so Kurama and the girls headed out. "Where are we going now?" asked Ryo.

"I suppose we could try Kuwabara's house. He lives alone with his sister, and they are both very hospitable."

Ryo smiled. "Shizuru, hospitable? I always saw her as the violent type. Especially towards her brother!"

"Yes," said Kurama, "Towards her brother she is. But to everyone else, she's actually very nice."

Ryo shrugged. "If you say so."

Finally, they arrived at the house. Once Kurama explained their situation, Kuwabara gladly accepted them into his home. "This is so cool!" he said. "So I'm one of the main characters?"

Ryo nodded. "Yep, you're one of the first people to be introduced."

As Kuwabara was prancing around in his joy, a small gothic child appeared…in the window…He looked surprised to see Kurama and the others. He turned to Kuwabara, frowned, and said, "Hey fool, where is your sister? I need to speak with her."

Kuwabara glared at him angrily. "Who are you calling a fool, shrimp boat?!"

"Who else has a sister in this room, idiot?"

Just then, Ryo cried out, "OMIGOSH, IT'S HIEI!"

Everyone stared at Ryo, then Lilith said, "Why are you so excited about some ten-year-old?"

Kuwabara burst out laughing and Ryo's jaw dropped. "HE'S NOT TEN!" she yelled.

"Fine, thirteen. That's as high as I'll go."

Hiei glared at her. "I'm a good deal older than you are, human!"

"Oh, you must be another one of those character-thingies, huh. Sorry munchkin."

Hiei's glare intensified. "Do you have a death wish?" he growled menacingly.

"No, I think that's in my other wallet."

Just then, Kuwabara's sister, Shizuru, walked into the room. "Oh, shorty, you finally showed up." She handed him a small paper sack. "Here's that thing you asked for."

"Hn." Said Hiei. He took it and disappeared.

Kuwabara looked at his sister in shock. "What could you _possibly _have that the shrimp would need?!"

Shizuru smacked him upside the head. "None of your business, little brother." It was then that she noticed the rest of the visitors. "I know you," she said, pointing at Kurama, "But who are they?"

And so more introductions were made, and an all around understanding was achieved. "So…what now?" asked Ryo.

Kurama's expression turned serious. "I think it's time to take you to see Koenma."

Kurama used his communicator to call Boton. Not long after, she appeared and opened a portal to the underworld for them. Soon, they were standing in Koenma's office. Of course, Lilith's first reaction was…

"What a cuuuuute baby! Now I can't be wrong about _that_ too…right?"

Ryo put her head in her hand. "Lilith, he's older than Hiei!"

"…Everything I know is wrong."

"Then shut up and let me do the talking!"

Koenma was looking disoriented. He tuned to Kurama and said, "Would you please explain to me who these people are, and why hey needed to see me?"

Ryo bowed to him, and Lilith saluted. Ryo said, "Sorry to bother you Koenma-dono, but—"

"What did you call me?!"

Ryo looked uncertain. "Um, Koenma…dono?"

His eyes got all glisteny. "No one has called me that in years!" He abruptly got up and shook her hand vigorously. "It's nice to know that _some _people have respect for their superiors! Not like Yusuke…what did you day your name was?"

Just then, Yusuke burst through the door. "Yo binky breath, I'm ready for my next assignment!"

Koenma shook his head sadly. "See what I mean? Nobody has any respect for me any more."

Yusuke noticed the two girls. "Who are they?"

"Lilith spoke up. "Hi, I'm Lilith, the one who's always wrong so has decided not to speak but knowing me that decision is pretty much screwed because I talk too much…hi, I'm Lilith."

Ryo rolled her eyes. "You just spoke, so you screwed up your decision anyway." She then turned to Yusuke. "And I'm Ryo, the semi-sensible one."

And so the tale was told again, although the girls were getting thoroughly sick of it. It was then that Ryo realized something. "Hey, wait a minute," she said, "What are we going to do about clothes? I don't know about you, but I don't want to be around Lilith when she hasn't changed in three days."

Lilith's eyes got wide. "Oh my god, three days?! You're acting like I can go more than one!"

Ryo ignored her. "Not only that, but how are we going to afford clothes? Me and her probably have about 2500 yen in American dollars between us!"

Koenma shook his head. "You don't have to worry about being able to afford clothes, there are 88 yen stores in the human world."

Ryo raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you didn't hear me the first time – we have American money."

"As in, from America." added Lilith.

Koenma raised an eyebrow. "You two must not get out very often, there are currency exchange machines all over the place."

Ryo frowned. "Still, 2500 yen isn't going to last long."

Koenma thought for a minute. "Well, since we have no idea how long you'll be here, I suppose you'll have to get jobs."

Lilith's eyes got really big. "Me, work?! GOD HAVE MERCY ON MY MORTAL SOOOOOOUL!!!"

"Oh quit wailing Lilith," said Ryo, "You've worked before."

"I quit my last job after – oh the horror – TWO WHOLE HOURS!"

"…Lilith, you were babysitting your sisters."

"And I had to call a professional after ten minutes, but she got stuck in traffic!"

Ryo sighed. "Lilith, do you like clothes?"

"Do you know me at all? Duh!"

"Well if you want to continue to enjoy the comfort of clothes, you'll have to get a job."

Lilith sighed dramatically. "Al right, but I don't have to like it. Ooooh my liiiife is a miiiiserable hoooole…"

Ryo rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and you like to drag everyone else in with you."

"Paaaaain and dispaaaaair…"

Ryo turned to the rest of the group, who were all very confused. "Just ignore her, she does this every time she has to participate in anything remotely resembling work."

"Miiiiserable chick-a-deeeeeees…"

Ryo turned to Kurama. "Do you have any job suggestions?"

Kurama shrugged. "I wouldn't know, I haven't been searching for a job recently."

"Really? So you already have one? Where do you work?" asked Lilith, snapping out of her emo-coma.

Kurama sweatdropped. "Uh, no. It's against my school's rules to have a part-time job."

"How about a full-time one?"

Ryo glared at Lilith. "Lilith, think. How can he have a full-time job if he has to go to school?"

"Well, if he had a time machine, he could—"

Ryo held up her hand. "Don't even go there…"

Kurama clasped his hands together. "Well then, I suppose we should start Job hunting for you two."

Everyone thanked Koenma (except Yusuke, who was staying) and headed back to the human world.

* * *

Que: Wow, this is the longest chapter we've written so far! I'm so proud of us!

Vee: How come you always get to speak first?

Que: Because I'm afraid that you'll say something stupid.

Vee: When have I ever said anything stupid?

Que: Remember how you broke up with your boyfriend?

Vee: That wasn't stupid, that was blunt!

Que: It was stupid to say it so bluntly.

Vee: Shut up.

Que: So long all! And remember, no reviews, no new chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

Vee: Hi everyone! It's Vee, your favorite authoress! Que will not be joining us today, as she is rather, ah, tied up at the moment.

**bang bang bang**

Just ignore that banging sound, it's just my pet hamster trying to get more food. Nothing to—

Que: **escapes the closet **VEE YOU SONOFABASILISK! YOU TIED ME UP IN THE CLOSET! AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A PET HAMSTER!

Vee: But if I did, I would name it Steve!

Que: **chases Vee**

Vee: **Runs away**

Que: **sigh** Anyway, Thank you for all your reviews, and on with the story!

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission.

* * *

Chapter Four

When they got back to the human world, they found Hiei there. He appeared to be searching for something on the ground. Kurama raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing, Hiei?"

Hiei glared at Kurama. "What does it look like I'm doing, Fox?"

"Looking for your butt-huggers, I bet." Interjected Lilith, still seething from their last encounter.

Hiei's expression turned lethal. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, sorry Munchkin, your ears must be to small. Don't worry, next time I'll speak up."

Kurama put his hand on her shoulder. "Lilith, it isn't wise to anger Hiei."

"Did I ever claim to be wise?" asked Lilith, talking to the hand on her shoulder.

Ryo spoke up. "Kurama's right Lilith, you—"

"You're right, Munchkin here might turn me in to the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz."

It was at that moment that Hiei snapped like bubble gum on a schoolgirl. One moment he was three feet away from her, then he was right next to her with his sword pressed against her throat. "Call me Munchkin one more time, and you will lose the ability to make those snarky comebacks."

"Oh, the eighth dwarf is upset because he's being beat at his own game! Only the foolish resort to violence, young grasshopper."

Hiei was about to put his sword to good use, when tackled from behind.

"PLEEEEEASE DON'T KILL HER HIEI-SAMA! I PROMISE THAT SHE'LL NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN, JUST PLEASE DON'T KILL HEEEER!!!"

Hiei was thrown off balance for about two seconds, then he turned around in shock to find Ryo in tears! Lilith, having never seen Ryo cry before, ran to her and hugged her in shock. "Oh Ryo, please stop crying! What did the little guy do to you?"

Hiei was too stunned to respond to this insult. He had never seen a girl break down like that in such close quarters (or, come to think of it, been tackled by said crying girl). He didn't know how to respond. Ryo was trying to speak between sobs. "He – sob – didn't – sob – do – sob – anything – sob – except try to kill you! I told you – sob – not to make him mad!"

Lilith turned to Hiei angrily. "Oh great, thanks a lot, Pipsqueak! You made her cry! You just had to go all macho-crazy-man on me, didn't you? You should be ashamed! Take you, and your butt-huggers elsewhere, for we will have no more of it here! …Please?"

Hiei's death glare was returning. "I wouldn't have attacked you if you hadn't been such a smartass!"

"Oh yeah, blame your anger management issues on me why don't you! Ooh, big strong Hiei has to hide behind a girl! Good one."

Kurama stepped between them. "That's enough! You're both behaving like children! Lilith, you go take care of Ryo. Hiei, go cool off."

Hiei gave Lilith one last glare, then he disappeared into the trees. Lilith went to Ryo, who was beginning to calm down. "It's okay, look! I'm alive!"

Fully recovered by then, Ryo smacked her upside the head. "What the heck is the matter with you?! I _told_ you not to push his buttons, and what did you do? Get him so mad that he was ready to kill you! Honestly! I wish you would use your brain once in a while!"

Quite defeated, Lilith said, "I'm sorry, really! I'll never try to insult him…to that degree…ever again!"

Kurama spoke up. "Although, really Ryo, you didn't need to worry."

Both girls looked at him in confusion. "Why not?" asked Ryo.

"Because Hiei's not allowed to kill humans. He would get in trouble with the spirit world."

Lilith glared at him. "Oh thanks for that tidbit. I don't know whether to be pissed or pleased with you! Letting Ryo get all worked up when you knew all along that he couldn't kill me…on the other hand, I can piss him off again. Yay!"

Ryo sent a glare her way. "Lilith…"

Lilith looked ashamed. "Sorry…I can still be irksome, right?

Ryo rolled her eyes. "I suppose you have to get rd of that energy somehow."

"Oh yay! I get to be irritating!"

Ryo sighed and put her hands in her pockets. Feeling something other than fabric, she pulled it out. It was the object that she had found at the scavenger hunt. It was only then that she realized it's significance. "Uh, Kurama? Do you know where Hiei went?"

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "He's not far from here, why?"

"In which direction did he go?"

Kurama indicated the correct direction. "That way."

Ryo started running in the direction Kurama had indicated. "I'll be right back – you guys have fun!"

Lilith blushed deeply, and Ryo called back, "Not like that, Lilith!" And then she was gone.

There was an awkward silence, and then…

"Purple pineapples playing piano and peeling pears."

"…What?"

"Never mind, how are you?"

"…Good." Kurama turned to face the direction Ryo had ran in. "So…does she usually break down like that?"

"Oh no, never. Steady as a rock, that one…except human…and prettier than a rock…and more fun to talk to."

Kurama looked slightly surprised. "You mean she's never cried even once?"

"She had a tragic past. Bullies. So she hardened herself into said rock so that she wouldn't cry when the bullies tormented her. When that didn't work, she resorted to violence, and now they leave her alone. Though she isn't foolish, like some people…"

Kurama shook his head. "Really Lilith, Hiei isn't so bad. I don't see why you feel the need to torment him."

She shrugged. "I guess he can't be all that bad. I mean, he'd have to be pretty cool to be Ryo's favorite character, but he's always so…snarky and cocky and…obnoxious! He annoys me is all."

He nodded. "Yes, I admit he can sometimes be somewhat pestiferous, But when you take into account all his other qualities, the good ones pretty much cancel out the bad ones."

Lilith looked shocked. "He has other qualities?!"

"Yes, he's loyal to his teammates and his sister, and—"

"He has a sister?"

He smiled. "Yes, believe it or not, he has a sister whom he cares for very much."

"Really? What's she look like? Same or different from the dwarf man himself?"

"Oh she's quite different. She's very gentle, and sweet, and likes animals. However…" He paused, gazing into the distance. "…They have the same eyes."

As Lilith processed this piece of information, she suddenly came to the realization that she was alone with Kurama! Now was her chance to seduce him…ooh, let's watch!

"So, change of subject, who's your girlfriend? Is she pretty?"

He looked surprised. "Um, actually, I don't have a girlfriend."

Her jaw dropped. "What?! You're married?! When did that happen?!"

He sweatdropped. "It didn't. I'm currently single."

She sighed with relief. "Oh, that makes more sense. Not that you wouldn't but…that you wouldn't? Not that you couldn't! Sorry…you're hot. AAHH, did I just say that?! What color would you say my hair is, chocolate or wood?"

Kurama looked thoroughly dizzy from her barrage of words. "Um…a kind of…dark chocolate color?"

"Really? That's interesting…darn."

"What's the matter?"

Lilith gave him a woeful look. "I don't like dark chocolate. It's not tasty."

Kurama shook his head. "Really, you've got to be the strangest girl I've ever met. You and Ryo seem so different, how did you get to be such close friends?"

Lilith raised an eyebrow. "I'll try to take that as a complement. And it's a loooong story."

Kurama started to protest. "Oh no, that wasn't what I meant at all! I didn't mean to insult you!"

"It's okay, now we're even." She said, laughing. "I mean, it's so obvious that you're a guy, because I am many things but I am not a lesbian."

Kurama's eyes widened slightly.

"Oops…" Lilith realized what she had just said. "I really need to think before I speak." She finished lamely.

Kurama sighed a tired sigh. "It's okay, you aren't the first. According to my classmates, I have a fan club."

She smiled proudly. "I may not be the first, but I'm the strangest!"

He laughed. "I have to agree with you on that one.

- Meanwhile, with Ryo -

Ryo ran between the trees, desperately searching for Hiei. She was praying that he hadn't switched directions since she started running. Finally, she found him. He was venting his frustration on the trees…poor trees…she didn't want to disturb him for fear of getting chopped into itty bitty pieces, but…

"Um…excuse me?

He whirled around, and was surprised to see Ryo. Then his expression turned stony and he asked gruffly, "What are you doing here?!"

Ryo shuffled her feet nervously. "It's just…ah…well…before the, ah, incident, I remember you were looking for something. I think I may have that something." She held up the object – Hiei's tear gem – up. "Is this what you were looking for?"

He was instantly in her face. He snatched the gem from her and whispered furiously, "Where did you get this?!"

Ryo was surprised at first, then her facial expression turned stern. He could draw tears from her by threatening her friend, but it wouldn't work on her. "I found it on the ground in my world. There's no need to bite my head off."

Hiei's eyes narrowed. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

She threw her hands up. "You can read my freakin' mind for crying out loud! Just do it so I don't have to explain everything all over again!"

He looked skeptical for a minute, then his jagan eye started to glow. After a while, he nodded, sat down on a nearby rock, and said, "Hn."

Ryo wasn't quite sure what to do after that, so she sat down beside Hiei's rock and began to twiddle her thumbs. Hiei glared at her. "Do you mind?"

She smiled sweetly. "Nope, not at all!"

He rolled his eyes. "Are you planning on staying here long?"

"Yep, at least until you leave."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Dunno really. I guess I want to get to know you better, but…" she looked around. "I suppose it could also have something to do with the fact that I have absolutely no idea where I am."

He almost fell off his rock. "And here I thought you were the sensible one." He muttered.

She shrugged. "Being sensible doesn't stop me from getting lost, which sadly happens to me a lot. And I may be smart, but I can act like Lilith when I want to or on a sugar rush. Being A.D.D. doesn't help anything either. But don't worry, I won't tease you like she does."

"Hn." Said Hiei, and then it was silent.

Finally, Ryo said, "You know what I'm craving right now? A grilled cheese sandwich."

He looked at her irritatedly. "Am I supposed to care about this?"

She shrugged. "Not really, just thought you'd like to know."

"Hn." He said. Then ten seconds later…"What's a grilled cheese sandwich?"

Cue anime fallover.

"Are you serious?! You don't know what a grilled cheese sandwich is?!"

"It wasn't exactly on my top priorities list to find out what one was." He said, rolling his eyes.

She stared at him. "Dude, you fail at life."

He glared at her. "What happened to not insulting me?"

She protested. "Oh sorry, please don't mind me, I say that to everyone! I don't actually mean it."

He snorted. "I think I liked you better as a sobbing mess."

She frowned. "Well sorry to disappoint, but that is the one and only time you are ever going to see me cry."

He smirked. "Keep telling yourself that."

She silently wondered what that could mean, but decided not to press it. It was then that she realized that she was sitting next to her favorite bishi! There were now two things she could do: either she could glomp him, or she could find out something that she had always wondered about. Since she had technically already done the first, there was only one thing left to do.

"Hiei, could you stand on the ground for a minute?" she asked.

He raised an eyebrow, but complied. She stood in front of him and measured herself against him. Then she grinned. "YES! I'm taller than you! I knew it!" she said, fistpumping.

You could almost see the anger mark popping out on his forehead. "What's that supposed to mean?"

If her grin got any wider, her face would split in half. "Well, back in my world, I told Lilith that I was taller than you. However, she was convinced that there was nobody in the world that's shorter than me. Now I can finally tell her for sure that I'm not the world's shortest person!"

He shook his head. "You are officially the strangest human I've ever met."

"Oh no," she said, "Trust me, Lilith is the strangest hum an you've ever met."

He scowled. "No, she's the most annoying human."

She smiled. "You'll get used to her." She stood up and dusted herself off. "Come on, I need help finding my way back, and Lilith and I have to run some errands. I'll buy you some sweet snow!"

Hiei thought about protesting, but the thought of sweet snow was too much temptation, and he started to lead her out of the forest.

* * *

Que: Wow, this is our longest chapter yet, at 2239 characters, not including the before and after notes!

Vee: Question, do people actually care about all that?

Que: Silence mortal! I'm still angry with you!

Vee: What if I gave you a yellow Monster?

Que: …Throw in some Mike-n-Ikes and you have a deal.

Vee: **Tosses her a box of mike-n-ikes**

Que: Yay! So long folks! And remember, no reviews, no new chapter!

Vee: Aloha!


	5. Chapter 5

Que: Welcome back all! Sorry we took so long with this chapter! We had to put up with a bout of double writers block.

Vee: And let us tell you right now, it sucks!

Que: Thanks to those of you who reviewed the last chapter and who stuck around for this chapter! You rock!

Vee: Now on with the story! (YES! I got to say it this time!xD)

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission. We also do not own the Wizard of Oz, Hot Topic, or Monster energy drink (since we use those references waaaay too often.)

* * *

Chapter Five

Once Ryo and Lillith regrouped, they dragged Kurama and Hiei to the store with them. Once they had exchanged their dollars for yen, they gleefully browsed the aisles of the 88-yen store looking for cute clothes. They split into groups of two – Lillith with Kurama and Ryo with Hiei – and Lillith immediately spotted an item that she could not live without. "Oh. My. God. A studded belt with a matching shirt with a half loop topstitching on the hem that's my favorite color! OhmygodohmygodohmyGOD!"

Kurama smiled. "Your favorite color is green? So is mine."

"Really?"

"Yes, it reminds me of the plants. I'm very fond of them you know."

Lillith looked confused. "Wait, was I supposed to know? Well, actually, how could I not know, you know? Oh my god, what is THAT?!"

She picked up the object she had seen and immediately rushed to Ryo. "RYORYORYOLOOKLOOKLOOK!!! Can we get it? Please please puh-leeeeeze???"

It was a small can of Domo energy drink. Ryo furrowed her brow. "Lillith, we're on a limited budget, we can't go spending it on energy drinks."

Lillith looked desperate. "B-b-b-b-but, it's not juuuust an energy drink! It's so…so cute! And it's not like there's any Monster in Japan! If I don't get some sugary supplement for my decreased energy in liquid form I could just DIE!"

Ryo was about to protest again, but Lillith played on her weakness and gave her (le gasp) the _weepy look_!!! After a moment or so, Ryo said, "…Fine. But grab me one too."

Lillith jumped for joy and ran back to where she had found the Monster supplement. Ryo shook her head. "I swear, that girl is going to die from over-caffeination some day."

Hiei snorted. "And yet, you told her to get you one too."

Ryo shrugged. "Hey, a girl needs her caffeine."

He raised an eyebrow. "So what does that make her, a poodle?"

"Hey, she gets waaay more caffeine than I do in a day!"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, that justifies things."

She smacked him lightly on the arm. "Don't be such a snot. Oh look, screen tees!"

He glared at her. "You hit me."

She looked at him. "Yeah, and the sky is blue. Care to state anything else, Captain Obvious?"

His glare intensified. "No one hits me and gets away with it."

She was sifting through the various tee shirts. "Yeah, well I'm about to, 'cause you can't attack me here, or anywhere else, according to Kurama. Besides, it was a playful hit, nothing to get upset over."

"Hn." Said Hiei, and he turned his back on her.

She looked back at him. "Oh come one, lighten up! You don't need to be such a grump all the time!" She then held up two shirts. "Which do you like better?"

One was black, and said, 'I'm confused, no wait…maybe not.' in rainbow letters.

The other was grey and said, 'Anything can happen when I'm around!' in green letters.

Hiei rolled his eyes. "Like I care what shirt you wear." He said.

Ryo grinned. "Hey, that rhymes!"

He was about to reply when Lillith came running up. "Looklooklook Ryo, I found the perfect shirt for you!"

She held up a sea green shirt that said, 'I'm not short, I'm fun-sized!' in rainbow letters. "And it comes in Hiei's size too!"

If looks could kill, Lillith would be dead twice over. "Lillith," Ryo said in her angriest tone of voice, "I swear I'm going to hang you by your toes and tar-and-feather you!"

Lillith gave her a look. "Two things, numero uno, I thought you didn't swear…and b, you have to catch me first!"

With an angry roar, Ryo lunged at Lillith. Lillith immediately dashed away yelling overdramatically, "NO, I REPENT, SAVE ME, I LOVE YOU, NOOO!!!"

"I swear I'll tear out your eyeballs and feed them to the crows!!! Get back here you addelpated sonuvamarshmallow!!!" screamed Ryo, giving chase.

"Oh great, now you're swearing, and I'm a dog! What is this world coming toooo?! If I'm a marshmallow, does that mean I can't play with matches anymore?!" shouted Lillith, still running.

Kurama looked exasperated. "Girls please, not in the store!"

The two immediately turned to face him. "If not here, where?" asked Lillith.

"If not now, when?" added Ryo.

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "That was a quick recovery." he said.

Lillith grinned at him. "Yeah, at least when we fight, we don't pull out swords and try to dismember each other."

Ryo bopped Lillith on the head and took the shirt from her. "Silence mortal, I'm still angry at you!"

Lillith looked surprised. "Wow, now you're calling me a mortal. You know, I think you and Hiei are becoming more and more alike! You just need to be a little more…depressed-emo-kid, and he needs to grow a few inches."

Kurama chuckled muttering, "Depressed-emo-kid…"

Hiei glared at him. "You have something to say, Fox?"

Kurama shook his head. "Not at all."

Ryo rolled her eyes. "Anyway, if you have everything you need, I'm ready to pay for everything."

And with that, she carried everything – including, surprisingly, the shirt Lillith had suggested – to the check out line. After she had paid for everything, she discovered that she still had 442 yen left. "Alright! We still have enough to buy ice cream!" she exclaimed.

The clerk smiled. "Are you two girls from America?" she asked.

They looked surprised for a second, then sheepish. (baa)

"Well, yeah. I guess it's kinda easy to tell, huh?" said Ryo.

"You both speak Japanese very good!" said the clerk.

Both the girls froze up. "Lillith, have you been speaking in Japanese?"

Lillith shook her head. "Nonono, this is English."

"Well _I _haven't been speaking in Japanese. The only Japanese words I know are 'Konnichiwa', 'otaku', 'kawaii', and 'baka'."

"Yeah, I only speak English, and sometimes I even mess _that_ up!"

The clerk looked very confused, and Kurama quickly dragged the girls out of the store, followed by Hiei. "What do you two mean you haven't been speaking Japanese?" asked Kurama, "I haven't had to say a word of English since you got here!"

"Really?" Ryo said, "'Cause like I said, I barely know any Japanese, and Lillith doesn't know any at all!"

Kurama frowned. "Well that's strange. Both of us have been speaking in our native tongues, and yet we understand each other."

Ryo shook her head. "Man this is weird, it's almost like something out of a bad fanfic!"

Far away in a different dimension, two fanfiction authors chuckled evilly. "If only they knew…" they said.

Kurama's expression turned grave. "Perhaps I should take you to see Genkai."

Ryo went pale. "Nonononono, breaking the language barrier is NOT a good reason to see Genkai!" she said.

Lillith was clueless. Again. "Genkai? Isn't that the Geico gecko?"

Kurama sweatdropped, and Ryo fell over, covering her eyes. "Oh LORD! Unnecessary mental image!"

"Whadisay?!" exclaimed Lillith.

Ryo shook her head. "I'm now imagining Genkai as the Geico gecko."

"So he's not the Geico gecko?"

Ryo glared at her. "She is Yusuke's mentor! She's also a kick-butt drill sergeant of a woman!"

Lillith mulled this over. "Hmm, she sounds badass. When do we meet her?"

"We don't, if we're lucky. She'd probably put us though some hard-core training that would leave us dehydrated and sore for a year!"

"Oh…well, in that case, never mind. I'm hungry!"

Cue anime fallover.

Ryo sighed in exasperation. "Fine, let's just go get some ice cream."

And so they all headed for a nearby ice cream parlor. It was then that Ryo realized that she wouldn't be able to buy all four ice cream cones. Thankfully, Kurama offered to pay for Lillith's and his ice cream. "Are you sure?" asked Ryo. "Lillith and I could go without ice cream…maybe…"

Lillith snorted. "Speak for yourself."

Kurama put up his hands in protest. "No no, it's my pleasure. Besides, I understand that junk food is a necessary nutrient in the growing teen organism."

Ryo blinked. "Wow, that's the first time I've heard a sentence like that said so scientifically. Did you rehearse that beforehand?"

Kurama smiled. "I didn't really have time to. Are you going to order?"

So everyone picked their flavors. Ryo picked 'World Class Chocolate', Lillith chose 'Chocolate Chip Mint' in a waffle cone, Kurama ordered strawberry, and Hiei got chocolate. While the ice cream scooper person scooped the ice cream, Ryo recounted the money, and realized that unless some changes were made to somebody's cone, she wouldn't be able to afford both cones! However, the ice cream scooper person had already scooped her cone, so there was only one thing left to do. She leaned over the counter. "Excuse me, ice cream scooper person? Could you please put the chocolate in a kiddie cone?"

Lillith burst into laughter and Hiei glared at her. "I thought you said you weren't going to tease me like she does!" he whispered furiously.

Ryo glared back at him. "No teasing intended. I'm sorry Bucko, but the kiddie cone is cheaper, so unless you want to pay for your own cone, you'll just have to suck it up!"

Hiei muttered under his breath and gave her a death glare, but protested no more. Once everyone had their cones, they sat at a table and began to feast upon the sugary goodness. "How's your 'kiddie' cone?" asked Lillith, putting evilly sarcastic emphasis on 'kiddie'. "Looks like you might need a highchair."

Ryo kicked Lillith under the table. "Please don't aggravate Hiei more than he already is. The only reason I made him get a kiddie cone was because it's cheaper. Heck, I would have gotten a kiddie cone if she hadn't already scooped mine."

Lillith grinned evilly. "But there is NOTHING the little Napoleon-wannabe can do about it!"

Hiei looked at Kurama. "Tell me I can kill her."

Lillith shook her head. "No way Shrimp-butt, waaay against the rules!"

Ryo gave an exasperated sigh. "Okay, now you're starting to get on my nerves. Change of subject! Where do you think we should look for jobs?"

Kurama shrugged. "Well, the newspaper is always a good place to start."

Lillith wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Eew, who'd want to work at the newspaper? Do you have a Hot Topic here?"

Ryo shook her head. "Lillith, Lillith. He meant we could look for ads for jobs in the newspaper." She then turned to Kurama. "It's a brilliant idea, except that we currently can't afford a newspaper."

"How much money to you have left?" asked Kurama.

Ryo grimaced. "15 yen. That's it."

Lillith grinned. "That's about Hiei's height in inches-DON'TSMACKMERYO!!! Couldn't resist."

Ryo shook her head frustratedly. "All I'm saying right now is that I am NOT working at McDonalds!"

Lillith high-fived her. "AMEN!"

Kurama raised his eyebrow. "But that's probably the easiest job you're going to get."

Ryo shook her head. "I don't care, I'm not working at that cesspit of chopped up cow parts and pink bug dye!"

Kurama looked confused until Lillith explained. "She read a book on what they put into their food. It was disgusting. She vowed against it ever since."

Hiei spoke up. "It's not like you'll be eating it, you'll just be selling it."

Ryo rolled her eyes. "No, I'll just be encouraging millions of innocents to eat the poisons." She stood up and said dramatically, "The people need to know!"

Kurama sweatdropped. "I…I see…"

Ryo quickly sat down and said embarrassedly, "Sorry, sugar rush is kicking in."

"You should see her on birthday cake." Laughed Lillith. "Classic."

Ryo smacked Lillith. "It was just once, and I apologized to the owners of the rooster!"

Kurama looked slightly frightened. "What happened to the rooster?"

Ryo glared at him. "Nothing you need to know abou—"

Lillith interrupted. "She chased it down, put it in a Colonel Sanders suit, gave it a bucket of KFC, and then made a video with a giant pink umbrella monster. That's all she wrote…"

Ryo shot out of her seat. "LILLITH!!!"

"What? You should be grateful that I didn't mention the poodle!"

it was then that they heard a very strange noise. They turned to see Kurama laughing his head off. But that's not all, Hiei was laughing too. Hiei, the king of murderous glares whose favorite phrase is, "Hn, I will gut you." was laughing hard enough to give himself a hernia! The two girls stared at him in astonishment, then Ryo frowned and said, "It's not funny!"

However, soon the two girls had joined in the laughter as well. Once everyone had finally stopped laughing, Kurama took a look at his watch. "Oh my, it's getting late." He said. "I suppose we should head back."

They finished their ice cream and headed back to Kuwabara's house. "You guys sure took a long time." said Kuwabara.

"Sorry, we got distracted by ice cream." said Ryo.

"That, and we all agreed that Ryo's birthday cake incident was amazing." added Lillith.

Kuwabara blinked. "…What?"

"Never mind, it's nothing you need to know about." said Lillith in a creepy voice.

He pouted. "Fine." Then he added, "You guys went for ice cream without me? I might have wanted some!"

Hiei rolled his eyes. "No one cares about what you want, fool."

"SHUT UP, HAMSTER-LEGS!" yelled Kuwabara.

Lillith cracked up. "Oh wow…'hamster-legs', that is so you! Although I do prefer guinea pigs. They're kick-ass."

Ryo covered her eyes. "Oh LORD! Another unnecessary mental image!"

Lillith grinned. "Oh no, Hiei with the legs of a hamster is an image that everyone needs to see!"

Hiei glared at everyone. "I'm leaving." He said, and with that, he flitted away.

Ryo sighed. "Lillith, I thought you were going to tone it down with the teasing!"

"I am!" protested Lillith. "I didn't say anything about hobbits, and I resisted the urge to reply to his "I'm leaving" statement!"

Ryo stared at her for a moment, and then said, "Okay, I give. How would you have replied?"

"Easy." Said Lillith, grinning. "I would have said, 'Look everyone, the head munchkin has finally come to his senses and found that normal sized people dislike his vertically challenged snarkiness!'"

Ryo patted her shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

Kurama turned to Kuwabara. "Do you happen to have a copy of today's newspaper?" he asked.

Kuwabara grinned. "Yeah, hang on, I'll go get it."

They began their search through the wanted ads. "Ooh, a tattoo parlor! That sounds interesting!"

Ryo gave Lillith a look. "Lillith, you don't have any experience in tattooing. At all."

"That's all you know!" Lillith argued, but seeing as they knew everything about each other, it was pointless.

"What about this one?" said Ryo, pointing. "Entertainment for children's birthday parties."

"Okay then!" agreed Lillith.

They got the address, then dragged Kurama to the building with them. There they met the owner of the business, Mr. Kubo. "Do you girls have any experience?" he asked.

"Experience with what?" asked Lillith, as her dirty mind was put to work.

Ryo stepped on Lillith's foot. "Lillith! Could you put your sick mind away for two minutes?!" She then turned to Mr. Kubo. "I've been babysitting since I was ten, and she has five sisters. That enough experience?"

Kubo shook his head. "I don't know…"

Suddenly, Lillith hugged Kubo. "I love you! Please give us a job, I promise you we get along with kids really well!"

Kubo was looking really disturbed by then. I…I suppose I could give you a trial period…"

Lillith immediately let go. "Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! You won't regret it Mr. Kubo, I promise!"

He wrote an address down on a piece of paper. "There's a party at this address in one hour, if you can satisfy the children, you can have the job." He then picked up two identical costumes. "Wear these." He said.

Ryo visibly paled. "I…um…don't suppose you have it in a different color…"

The costumes were two pink fairy costumes, complete with tutus and wings. Kubo shook his head. "Nope, this is it."

Ryo began to stutter. "B-b-but, I'm chronically allergic to pink! I break out in a rash, and a look of disgust forms on my face!"

Lillith nodded. "I've seen it before sir, it ain't pretty."

Kubo frowned. "Well if you want the job you'll just have to suck it up now won't you?"

Ryo backed away slowly. "I'm sorry sir, but if I have to wear that…that…atrocity, then I don't think I want this job."

And with that, Ryo snatched Lillith and Kurama and dashed out of the building. She didn't stop running until she was a half-mile away. By the time she finally came to a stop, everyone was out of breath. "Are…you…trying…to…kill me?!" asked Lillith between gasps.

"Did you…want me to…have a…serious…allergic reaction?!" responded Ryo.

Kurama seemed to be the only one who wasn't gasping for air. "I didn't know it was possible to be allergic to a color."

"It is." stated Lillith matter-of-factly.

Ryo sighed. "Well, it's back to the classifieds."

I won't go into every gory detail, but let's just say that they failed at every job they tried. Lillith looked at Ryo. "Guess what? Seeing as we have been singled out for the greatest torture on earth, I have to say that we only have one option left…DUN DUN DUN!" Once again, Lillith was being overdramatic, but for once, she had a point.

For the third time that day, Ryo paled. "Oh no, I refuse! We are not getting a job there, I absolutely refuse!!!"

"Unless you want to die a slow, painful, starving death, you'd better suck it up Ryo! I agreed with the pink, but this is too much – we're desperate!"

Kurama looked at Ryo. "For once, Lillith is being the sensible one. You two really need jobs, and this is as good a chance as any. Better even."

"YES!" shouted Lillith, "I didn't sound like an idiot!"

Ryo stood and thought for a while, then she sighed. "Well, at least it's better then the pink thing."

"Now THAT'S the spirit!" said Lillith.

* * *

Que: Wow, this is the longest chapter yet! I think they get longer with every chapter!

Vee: You know what they say, 'Cheese and fanfiction get better with age.'

Que: I've never heard anyone say that but you.

Vee: Well…they would have said it if they had thought of it!

Que: **sigh** Anyway, thanks for reading, and remember – no reviews, no new chapter!

Vee: Adios!


	6. Chapter 6

Que: Hi guys! Once again, the curse of writers block has crept upon us.

Vee: Not to mention I was out of town for a while. DUN DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!

Que: But we have plenty of ideas, so we just have to combine them correctly! For now, on with the story!

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission. We also do not own the Wizard of Oz, McDonald's, or Monster energy drink.

* * *

Chapter Six

"I was wrong," said Ryo with a look on her face that was a combination of disgust and horror. "This is way, way worse than the pink thing."

As you've probably guessed by now, they had applied for a job at McDonald's, and unfortunately for Ryo, they had succeeded. She was unhappily standing at the ordering counter thingiemabobber, wearing the apron and hat that signified that she was part of the staff. Two customers were standing at the counter trying to get her attention. "Uh, hello? Are you going to take our order or not?"

Ryo sighed, and said in a monotonous voice, "Welcome to our magical shop of joy and whimsy – now buy something and get out."

She earned a whack on the head from the manager for that witty line (think Gibbs-slap from NCIS). "Quit driving the customers away or you get bathroom duty." he said.

Ryo glared at him, holding her head where she had been hit. "Can it Old Man, this place doesn't deserve my cheerfulness!"

Lillith peeked out from where she was working the window. "That 'Old Man' signs your paychecks – that had better be worth your cheerfulness."

Ryo directed her glare onto Lillith. "You can it too! I'll be cheerful when I wanna be cheerful!"

The manager – his name was Mr. Toume – rolled his eyes. "Well you'd better want to be cheerful soon, because one more snarky comment and you're demoted to janitor."

Ryo sighed. "Fine, I'll lie to the public."

Just then, another customer came in. Ryo put on her most dazzling smile. "Welcome to McDonald's, what would you like to order?"

The man looked thoughtful. "Yes, I'd like a number seven – no wait, a number six, 'cause it's healthier. I'll also have a large fry, 'cause potatoes are healthy. And to drink I'll have a milkshake, 'cause dairy is healthy."

Ryo gave Lillith a look that was a cross between murderous and despairing. Lillith glared and mouthed the words, "Suck it up."

Ryo turned back to the man and smiled a strained smile. "Alright sir, is there anything else?"

He thought for a moment, and then said, "Yes, I'd also like an apple pie, 'cause apples are healthy."

You could see the anger mark popping out on Ryo's forehead. "I – I see," she said in a strangled voice. "You're total comes to 1295 yen."

He paid for his food and went to find a table. The moment his back was turned, Ryo slumped against the counter, breathing a sigh of exasperation. "Man, if he had said one more thing about being healthy I probably would have strangled him."

Lillith grinned. "Really Ryo, you shouldn't stress yourself out so much – it's not healthy."

Ryo gave her a death glare that could rival Hiei's. "If you don't get back to your window, you're not going to be healthy!"

Lillith quickly scurried back to her position at the window. Ryo then heard the door open, and turned to see Ronald McDonald walk in from where he was advertising, followed by a bunch of little kids. They were all trying to get his attention at once, and were extremely headache producing. The read-headed clown looked at Ryo, gave a big silly grin, and said, "Aww, why so glum? Cheer up – you're at McDonald's!"

Her eyes narrowed. "When you give me a better reason to, then I'll cheer up."

His smile never faltered. "Uh oh, looks like someone hasn't had their nap today!"

She glared at him, and restrained herself from wringing his neck. "Uh oh, looks like someone's had too much crack today!"

One of the girls who had been tailing Ronald looked up at him and asked innocently, "What's crack?"

The smile dropped off of his face as he searched for a suitable answer. "It's – well – um – ah – french fries! Yeah, french fries!"

The girl smiled happily. "Okay!" she said, and tottled off.

The rest of the kids wandered off, and the clown leaned against the counter, breathing a sigh of relief. "Man, don't say things like that in front of the kids! That was a close one!"

Just then, the door opened again and in walked Kurama and Hiei. Ryo was surprised. "What are you two doing here?"

Kurama smiled. "We came to visit you and Lillith."

Hiei rolled his eyes. "Speak for yourself Fox, I'm just here for the food."

Lillith peeked around the corner. "It's healthy."

Ryo chucked a ketchup packet at her. "Say that word in reference to this place one more time and I'm shoving a french fry up your nose!"

Lillith evaded the small red packet. "Could I have ketchup with that?"

Ryo rolled her eyes. "You just did, Dipwad!"

"But you didn't throw french fries at me, so it doesn't count!" said Lillith.

It was then that Ronald spoke up. "Ooh, customers? Hi, and welcome to McDonald's! Oh my…" he said, patting Hiei on the head. "Looks like someone doesn't drink their milk!"

Hiei looked angrily at Ryo. "Who is this guy, and am I allowed to kill him?"

Ryo sighed. "Sadly, no. This is Ronald McDonald; friend to children and TV commercial producers, and bitter enemy of parents, health food nuts, and myself."

Ronald put on a sad face. "Aww, I thought we were friends!"

Ryo rolled her eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be playing with little kids or something?"

He sighed a dramatic sigh. "I suppose you're right, duty calls. Tootle-oo!" and with that, he trotted off.

Ryo rubbed her forehead. "Honestly, sometimes it just doesn't pay to hold back my killing instincts."

Hiei glared at the retreating clown. "That man is very close to taking the Baka Onna's place as the most annoying human I've ever met."

Ryo shook her head. "I know! He's so—" It was then that she realized something. "Wait a minute, did you just call Lillith a Baka Onna?"

Lillith peeked around the corner. "Hey, I heard that! I don't know what that means, but I can tell it's an insult!"

Ryo laughed. "It means 'foolish woman'."

Lillith threw up her hands. "See?!"

Ryo threw more ketchup packets at Lillith. "Go back to your window!"

Lillith defended herself from the flying ketchup. "I can't, it's my lunch break – and yours too!" She then turned to Kurama and smiled sweetly. "Eat lunch with me?"

Kurama smiled at her. "I would be delighted to, as soon as I get my food."

Ryo sighed. "Well, while I'm back here I might as well take your guy's orders."

The two boys ordered and paid for their food. Once the food was ready, Lillith dragged Kurama to a nearby stall. Seeing the look in her eyes, Ryo rolled her eyes and directed Hiei to a different stall. He raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that the Fox and the Baka Onna are going that way."

Ryo glared at him. "One, can't you call her by her real name? And two, you don't want to see Lillith when she tries to turn on the charm."

Just then, the little girl asked her mother, "Mommy, will you buy me some crack?"

Ryo and Hiei turned around to see the mother's jaw drop three feet. "Where did you hear that word?!"

The girl pointed. "From Ronald McDonald."

The mother was instantly in the clown's face. She slapped him so hard he was sent sailing halfway across the room. "YOU JERK!!! HOW DARE YOU TEACH MY DAUGHTER THAT WORD?! WHAT KIND OF A ROLE MODEL ARE YOU?! YOU SON OF A—"

She went on, but with words unsuitable for virgin ears. When she was finished, she grabbed her daughter's hand and stomped out of the building. Her daughter frowned as she tried to process all the new words her mother had just taught her. Because she's a totally amazing role model herself. Honestly.

Anyways, Ryo had pulled out her camera (she had had it in her back pocket when she fell in the hole) and had filmed almost everything. She and Hiei looked at each other, then Ryo burst into laughter. It was a good thing she had already turned off her camera and set it aside, because she was laughing so hard that she had to hold onto the table to remain standing. After she had calmed down a bit, she looked at Hiei to find him smirking. Her jaw dropped. "Oh come on, you can not tell me that that didn't make you laugh!"

He rolled his eyes. "Unlike you, I don't care too much for embarrassing myself in public."

She frowned. "Oh, so you'll laugh at the birthday cake incident, but you won't laugh at that annoying man getting chewed out by an angry mother?"

He smirked. "What happened to him was pleasing; your misfortune was funny."

She looked away. "Gee, thanks a lot." She said in a flat tone of voice.

He frowned. She seemed insulted. For some reason he felt bad about that. He changed the subject. "What did he tell the little human about crack?"

She chuckled, her spirits boosted as she remembered what the clown had said. "He told her it was french fries."

He looked confused. "What's 'french fries'?"

She gave him a look. "Are you serious? You know what crack is, but you don't know what french fries are?"

He shrugged. "Kurama told me what it is. Now what are french fries?"

She rolled her eyes. "You ordered them – they're those long yellow things in that cardboard bag thing."

Hiei looked down at his lunch. He had just ordered what Kurama had ordered, because he didn't know what anything was. He sat down at a nearby table and picked up one of the so-called 'french fries'. He tentatively took a bite – and his eyes widened. It was crispy and salty and delicious! It was almost as good as sweet snow, and he briefly wondered what they would taste like together. He smirked appreciatively. "I may despise humans, but I like their food."

Ryo snorted. "Look who you're talking to! And that particular food isn't that great."

Hiei munched on another french fry. "The taste of these reminds me of the Makai."

She looked surprised for a moment, then she laughed. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, potatoes fried in cow fat sounds like something that would be popular in the Makai."

He took a sip of his drink. "So that's what it is. We have something similar to it in the Makai, only they're fried in grimspho beast fat."

She gave him a strange look. "Do I want to know what a grimspho beast is?"

He shrugged. "Probably not."

Just then, Mr. Toume leaned over the counter and called, "Lunch break's over – back to work girls!"

Ryo groaned. "Ugh, duty calls." She stood up. "See you later Hiei, it was nice talking to you."

It was then that Hiei realized that he enjoyed talking to her too! He hadn't uttered a single insult (on purpose anyway) and his amount of sarcastic remarks had been downsized quite a bit. What was the matter with him?! It was as if some human-loving pansy had taken control of his body! It had been almost the same in the forest the day before. He finished his meal and went to find Kurama – they needed to talk.

Back with Ryo, Ronald McDonald had caught up with her and was looking very angry. "I suppose you thought what happened back there was funny, didn't you?"

Ryo grinned. "Um, let me think…YES."

He glared at her. "Well I've got news for you—" he then pointed dramatically at her. "—I will have my revenge, so you'd better watch your back!"

Then a mother and her three children walked in the door, so he put on his happy face and went to greet them. Ryo and Lillith looked at each other, then burst into laughter. When she could speak again, Ryo said, "I'm sorry, but death treats are kind of hard to take seriously when they're coming from a clown!"

Lillith was still chuckling. "That was amazing!"

"I know, right?"

Suddenly, both of them were Gibbs-slapped by Mr. Toume. "Back to work you two, those customers aren't going to serve themselves."

Ryo glared at him, holding her wounded head. "Good lord Old Man, you are so impatient! We're getting to it!"

"Well get to it faster." He called over his shoulder.

Behind his back, Ryo pulled down her eyelid and stuck out her tongue. Then Lillith went back to her window, Ryo went back to the counter, and they both forgot about the red haired clown's threats. Little did they know that the clown was watching and making his diabolical plan…MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

* * *

Que: I am sooooooo sorry that this chapter took so long to get up! We didn't get to see each other for a while, and when we did get to see each other, we were stuck with writers block. As it is, I ended up writing most of this chapter myself, which is why most of it is from Ryo's POV. But don't worry, you Lillith fans out there will get some epic Lillith action in the next chapter, so prepare thyself!

Vee: Now you're hogging most of the endnote too!

Que: If you want to be in the endnote, you have to speak up!

Vee: Well excuuuuse me for being silent for once!

Que: Well anyhoo, see you in the next chappie. And remember – no reviews, no new chapter! Sayonara!


	7. Chapter 7

Que: Hello again! Sorry for the long wait, but we can only work on the story when one of us sleeps over at the other's house.

Vee: Which is rare.

Hopefully, you will enjoy this chapter all the more because it's finally here.=)

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission. We also do not own the Wizard of Oz, McDonald's, or Monster energy drink.

Chapter Seven

Finally, it was quitting time. As expected, Ryo was in a hurry to get out of there. "Come on Lilith! Can't you go any faster?!"

Lilith shook her head. "No, because I have to search thoroughly for my fuzzy sparkling purple good-luck pen that I never leave home without!"

Ryo stared at her. "How come I've never heard about this pen?"

Lilith grinned. "Because it's a secret fuzzy sparkling purple good-luck pen that I never leave home without."

Ryo groaned. "Well hurry up and find it! If I have to spend much longer in here I might kill a few customers!"

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She yelped and spun around only to come face to face with Hiei. She glared at him. "Don't do that! You scared the crud out of me!"

His glare outdid hers. "We need to talk." He said.

She frowned. "But Lilith hasn't found her fuzzy sparkling—"

"Now."

He spoke with such a commanding voice that she was surprised. When she took a good look at him, he almost looked…angry. She shivered involuntarily. He knew what happened when he got angry. She turned to Lilith and called, "Sorry Lil, Hiei wants to talk to me. If you find your fuzzy sparkling whatever pen, just head home."

"Ha ha, okay. You and lover-boy go on ahead." Lilith teased.

Ryo quickly pushed Hiei out of the door before he could sharpen his sword on Lilith's face. Lilith continued to search for her pen, chuckling to herself. Suddenly, Ronald McDonald walked in. Only he wasn't wearing his clown costume. He was the man behind the mask, who shall remain nameless for the sake of our laziness. For now we shall call him 'Ronald'. He walked up to Lilith with a cheerful smile on his face. "Looking for something, ah…uh…"

"Lilith."

"Right, Lilith."

She continued her search. "Actually, yes."

He smiled a gentlemanly smile. "Do you need any help?"

"You know, I don't think so, actually. Thanks for the offer though."

For a split second, there was a frown on his face, but then he went back to his smiley persona. "No really, I insist."

Lilith shrugged. "Whatever dude; it's a fuzzy sparkling purple good-luck pen."

He blinked. "A what?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why does everyone say that?! It's a fuzzy sparkling purple good-luck pen!"

He paused, and then smiled reassuringly. "Ooh, I see. Hey, I think I saw something like that in the back room – you could check there."

Lilith smiled. "Seriously? Huh…thanks Ronny, you're not so bad."

Lilith ran to the back room. Little did she know, 'Ronny' was right behind her. Upon entering the back room, she turned on the light and began her search. Suddenly, she heard the door slam, and she whirled around to find Ronald standing between the closed door and herself. She started to feel nervous. "Heh, come to think of it, it's probably at home. I should get going…"

Once again, he smiled. However, in this smile there was no reassurance – just malice and evilness. "You're not going anywhere."

Lilith didn't like where this was going. "Really? B-b-b-but why?"

He took a threatening step toward her. "Because, 'Chicky', your friend made a fool out of me, and I don't take too kindly to that sort of thing. However, she left before I could do anything to her, so I'll just have to take out my revenge in you. You're her best friend, so it'll hurt her anyway."

Lilith took a step backward. "That makes no sense, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

He snarled. "Don't play dumb with me! You and everyone else in the building heard that woman yelling at me! If your friend hadn't made that comment on me being on crack, that would have never happened!"

Lilith stared at him, gobsmacked. "It's not my fault you can't withhold your manhood."

He shoved her against the wall. "Shut up! You aren't escaping, no matter what you say!"

The he kissed her roughly before she could say anything else, and started to tear off her shirt. She kicked him in, ah, the place where the sun don't shine. Ouch. He let out a cross between a groan, a grunt, and a yelp. As she tried to run away, he yelled, "You bitch!" and threw her against the wall.

He was about to resume, when the door burst open. There stood Kurama with a look of shock on his face. Very quickly that look of shock changed to a look of anger. "I suggest you unhand her immediately." He said quietly.

Ronald sneered at the red- haired man. "And what are you going to about it, Drag Queen? Force me to find my feminine side? Make me wear bad make up? I'm petrified."

Kurama pulled a rose out of his hair. "If you don't let her go in three seconds, your make up's going to be black an blue."

Ronald laughed. "Oh, so now you're going to beat me up with a rose? That's pretty scary. I think I just wet myself!"

Kurama's eyes flashed. "You were warned."

And with that, he brought out his rose whip. Ronald's eyes grew wide. "What the heck is that?!"

Kurama didn't answer. He merely flicked his wrist, creating a long gash across Ronald's chest. Ronald screamed in pain and dropped Lilith's wrist. Lilith didn't move she was so paralyzed in shock. Kurama shouted, "Lilith, get behind me!" but she still didn't move.

Growling in frustration, Kurama picked Lilith up bridal style and dashed out of the building. However, he suddenly felt a shooting pain in his leg that made him stumble. The deranged clown had shot him! He whirled around, furious. Ronald was grinning smugly, holding a smoking handgun in his…well, his hand…because that's generally where people hold handguns…

Well anyway, Ronald shouted, "Ha! Can't run now!"

Kurama's eyes were like green slabs of stone. "Don't underestimate me." He said, and swung his rose whip in a graceful arc, making another gash, this time on his arm.

As Ronald dropped the gun, yelping in pain, Kurama half-ran, half-limped into the park nearby the building, carrying Lilith with him. As soon as he had gotten a good distance away from the crazy clown, he gently set Lilith on the ground and took a look at his wound. The bullet had hit him in the back of his right calf, and he was bleeding profusely. It hurt some, but not as bad as, say getting stabbed in the stomach.

Demons heal quickly, so he knew he had to get the bullet out before the wound closed over it. Bracing himself against the pain, he stuck his fingers into the hole in his leg and started feeling around for the bullet (everyone, don't try this at home!). Now that hurt! Grimacing, he dug deeper until he felt the small piece of lead. He quickly fished it out. His leg was bleeding even worse now, but at least the bullet was out.

Lilith was still in shock, so he gently touched her shoulder with his clean hand. "Lilith, it's okay, you're safe now." He said softly.

She didn't respond. Now Kurama was starting to get worried. He had heard of people who never recovered from shock, and he didn't want to be the one who had to tell Ryo that her best friend had become an empty shell of her former self. However, he thought perhaps she could help bring Lilith back. He pulled out his communicator and called Hiei. Soon enough, the fire demon's face appeared on the screen. "What is it, Fox? I'm busy."

Kurama ignored his unfriendly greeting. "Is Ryo still with you?"

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Yes, why?"

Kurama winced as another wave of pain shot up his leg. "I need you to bring her and a fist-aid kit to my location as soon as possible. There's something wrong with Lilith and I need Ryo's help."

Hiei was about to say something, when his face was replaced with Ryo's, which was frantic. "What's the matter with Lilith?! Why do you need a first-aid kit?!"

Kurama was quick to reassure her. "Calm down, I am the one who is in need of medical attention, not Lilith. However, she has gone into shock, and I need you to help me snap her out of it."

Ryo's eyes seemed to pop out of her head. "What the heck happened?!"

Kurama shook his head. "I'll tell you when you get here. Just hurry!" And with that, he shut his communicator off; cutting off whatever Ryo was about to yell at him.

Meanwhile, with Ryo and Hiei, Ryo was starting to have a panic attack. "Omigosh, what the frikkin' heck is going on?! Lilith's never gone into shock before! EVER! This is bad, very bad! And Kurama's injured, so that's like, twice the bad! What—"

Hiei bopped her on the head, effectively cutting her off. "Shut up, moron. You're hyperventilating."

Ryo took a few deep breaths. "We have to get over there. Lilith is my best friend. If something were to happen to her, I think a piece of my soul would break off."

As Hiei looked at Ryo's worried expression, he felt…something. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but he didn't have time to analyze it. He turned around and said, "Climb on."

Ryo looked at him in surprise. "Like, on your back?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, on my head. Yes on my back, dimwit! Do you want to help the baka onna or not?"

On normal circumstances, Ryo would have been thinking, "Oh my gosh! Hiei's letting me ride his back! Have I died and gone to heaven?"

However, her head was already filled with thoughts of Lilith, so she got on his back without a word. Before they went to Kurama, they stopped by Kuwabara's house for a first-aid kit. Although she was still worried about Lilith, Ryo had to admit that it felt simply amazing riding on Hiei's back. The wind was whipping past her face at such a speed that she had to close her eyes in order to protect them. And the best part? Hiei was really warm. She snuggled up closer to him and felt him stiffen up, but she didn't care.

All too soon, it was over. They arrived at Kurama's location, and found him bleeding badly from the leg and Lilith still zoned out. Ryo immediately ran towards her and knelt down so that she was eye-level with her. "What happened to her?!"

Kurama took the first-aid kit from Hiei and started bandaging himself up. "She's not hurt as far as I know, but she's gone into a state of shock. I thought perhaps you could wake her up, considering you're her best friend."

Ryo looked thoughtful. "Well, I know of two ways to wake her up, but the second one's never been tested, so I'll go with the first one."

The then proceeded to lean forward and poke Lilith in the side. Lilith immediately shrieked and kicked Ryo in the side. "DON'T DO THAT!!!" she yelled.

As Ryo doubled over in pain, she muttered, "Well at least she's not a vegetable any more."

"I resent that!" said Lilith. "If I was a vegetable, I'd be cannibalistic!"

Kurama stepped forward with a concerned look on his face. "Lilith, are you alright?" he asked softly.

Lilith thought for a moment. "Well…physically, I'm fine. But I'll probably be mentally scarred for life."

Ryo grabbed her shoulders. "What happened to you?!"

"Well, I was looking for my pen, and Ronny said it was in the back room, and…yeah…"

Ryo looked confused. "You went into shock because you couldn't find your pen?" Hey, she had her blond moments.

Lilith rolled her eyes. "Noooo, I went into shock because I got groped by a clown!"

Ryo's eyes got huge. "Are you frikkin' serious?! That stupid sonofabasilisk! KUSO!"

"Yeah…wait, what?" asked Lilith.

Hiei smirked. "She just swore in Japanese, baka onna."

Lilith glared at Hiei. "Well I'll be damned, I just swore in English, hobbit!"

Ryo glared at both of them. "Stop it, both of you." Then she turned to Lilith. "How far did he get?"

Lilith looked thoughtful. "Uh…groping, tearing clothing, and kissing." She shuddered at the memory.

It was then that Kurama noticed that Lilith's shirt was torn. He felt embarrassed that he hadn't noticed earlier. He quickly took off his jacket and set it on Lilith's shoulders. Lilith was slightly embarrassed, but grateful. "Thanks…"

Suddenly, Ryo got an angry/evil look on her face. "Hiei, do you think you could locate Ronald?"

Hiei closed his eyes, and the third eye under his headband started glowing. "He's in an alley not far from the restaurant."

Ryo gave an evil grin. "How would you like to maim someone? Like Lilith's would-be rapist."

Hiei smirked. "Sounds good to me. I didn't like the human in the first place."

Kurama looked worried. "Hiei, you know you aren't allowed to kill humans."

Ryo spoke up for him. "He's not going to kill him, he's just going to bring him to the brink of death. There's a big difference."

"Can't this be ooooone exception? He's not 'human', he's 'clown' after all!" Lilith pleaded.

Kurama stared at Lilith's puppy-dog face, and thought of the look on Ronald's face as he was about to 'do the deed' with Lilith. An anger rose up in him like he had never felt before. Finally, he said, "As long as you don't kill him I won't tell Koenma."

Ryo fist-pumped. "YES!" Then she turned to Kurama. "You take Lilith home to get new clothes. Hiei and I will catch up with you." She then proceeded to jump on Hiei's back, point dramatically into the distance, and shout, "ONWARD MY NOBLE STEED!"

Hiei glared at her. "Keep talking like that, and I might drop you."

Then Hiei and Ryo flitted off, and Kurama and Lilith were left by their lonesome. There was an awkward silence, and then Lilith said, "…Every awkward silence, a gay baby is born."

Kurama gave her a strange look. "…What?"

Lilith sighed. "Nothing. Thanks for the jacket."

And with that, the two headed for the Kuwabara household.

Meanwhile, in a dark alley…

Ronald ran down the alley, clutching his chest and wheezing. He'd never seen anything like that instrument of thorny torture before. He swore as another wave of pain shot through his body, and he had to sit down. Suddenly, he heard footsteps, and he looked up to see two shadows hovering over him. "Don't just stand there," he snarled. "Call 911! I'm bleeding here!"

One of the shadows chuckled. "What, after those puny wounds? By the time we're done with you, you'll have a real reason to call 911."

He recognized that snarky voice. "You!" he said venomously.

Ryo smirked. "That's right, did you miss me? Obviously not too much, since you were having so much fun trying to rape my best friend!"

He sneered. "Well, I had intended for you to be my victim, but you left so I had to make do."

Ryo's eyes flashed with anger. "Well I have another friend I want to introduce to you." She gestured toward Hiei, who took off his headband and grinned maliciously. "This is Hiei. He's a professional assassin. His favorite thing to do is cut scum like you into tiny little pieces. Lucky for you, he's not allowed to do that right now, so he'll have to make do with beating the crud out of you."

Hiei stepped forward, but Ryo grabbed his arm. "Wait, don't hit him yet," She reached into her pocket and pulled out her camera. "I want Lilith to see this too." She said, grinning. "Go ahead and attack him now."

Suddenly, Hiei shoved her out of the way just as a shot rang out. Ronald had pulled out his gun again, and had aimed at Ryo. Hiei had gotten her out of the way just in time. Ronald had a crazy look in his eyes. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!" he shouted, laughing hysterically, and fired again.

Hiei dodged the bullet easily. Then he ran right up to Ronald and punched him in the face. Ronald was sent flying back into the wall with the force of the punch. Hiei quickly ran up to where he had landed, picked him up by the collar, and started rapidly punching him. He did this for a while, and then Ryo said gently, "That's enough Hiei, you're gonna kill him."

Hiei stopped, said, "Hn." And dropped Ronald.

Ryo quickly grabbed the gun out of Ronald's hand and threw it into a nearby dumpster. She then said cheerfully to Ronald, "Feeling painful, Ronny?"

He merely groaned in response. She grinned at his pain. "Well, we're not quite done yet. There's one more thing I need to do."

She then proceeded to kick Ronald in a place where no man should ever be kicked. Even Hiei winced as he watched Ronald double over in pain, clutching his precious jewels. "What do you plan to do with him, just leave him there?"

She shook her head, pulling out her phone. "Naw, I'm going to call the police."

She made the call, and then turned around, only to notice a discolored spot on Hiei's arm that appeared to be growing. "Hiei, your arm is bleeding!"

He looked at his arm. "Ah, so it is. I suppose when the clown shot at you it nicked my arm. No matter, it will heal." He opened his eyes to find Ryo searching her pockets. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Looking for a band-aid." She said. Finally, she found one and said, "Roll up your sleeve."

He raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told. She peeled the wrappings off the band-aid and stuck it to his wound. He looked at the Scooby-Doo band-aid stuck to his arm and rolled his eyes. "You realize I don't need that, right?"

She smiled. "I know. That's just until the bleeding stops."

He shook his head. "Hen na yatsu." He muttered.

Finally, she hopped onto his back so that they could go home. Before Hiei started running, Ryo whispered into his ear, "Thanks for saving me."

He felt a chill go down his spine, and started running for home.

Que: Okay, you might have noticed that this chapter took a more serious turn than the others—

Vee: It's all Que's fault! I wanted there to be more comedy, but nooooo, she said it was "imperative to the plot"!

Que: **glares at Vee** Any more humor and it'll be a crackfic! Anyhoo, we will try to update as soon as possible.

Vee: And try to work in more fluff!

Que: That too. Oh, and in case you were wondering, "hen na yatsu" means "weirdo". See ya, and remember – no reviews, no new chapter!

Vee: Aloha!


	8. Chapter 8

Que: Oh my gosh, we are so sorry this chapter came so late! In our defense, we can only work on the story when Vee sleeps over at my house or me at hers, and she hasn't been oven that much! We want to thank CrazykittensAtemyHOMEWORK for sending us a review and three PMs begging us to update.

Vee: Why would we want to do that?

Que: Because she helped us get our heads back in the game.

Vee: God, you sound like someone from High School Musical!

Que: I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN, BOOGERLIPS!

Vee: O.O SAVE MEEEEEE! **runs away**

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission. We also do not own the Wizard of Oz, McDonald's, or Monster energy drink. Oh, and we don't own any of the songs or bands/singers either.

Chapter 8

A week had passed since the "Ronald Incident", as they were now calling it. For once, Lilith was doing just fine with little entertainment (coughKuramacough). No, it was Ryo who was going stir-crazy. She had dark circles under her eyes and she started twitching. It got so bad that at one point, Kuwabara asked Lilith, "She's not, like, a junkie, is she?"

Lilith got a thoughtful look on her face. "I don't think so…if she is, she could have at least shared."

She was immediately gibbs-smacked from behind by Ryo. "Shut up, nimrod." She then turned to Kuwabara, who was looking horrified. "She's kidding, she doesn't do that sort of thing."

"Not that you know of." Lilith laughed.

Ryo simply rolled her eyes and walked away twitching. "Wow, she really is far gone," said Lilith in surprise. "She didn't even give me the 'I've known you forever' line."

Kuwabara gave Lilith a curious look. "Far gone in what?"

Lilith gave him a baffled look. "Music deprivation, duh!"

Hiei walked in. "What in the three worlds in music deprivation?"

Lilith rolled her eyes. "I know your knowledge may be limited due to your smallish height, but if you listen to the two words, it's quite obvious."

Kuwabara looked mystified. "Wait, so that's an actual disease?"

Lilith shrugged. "It's…being deprived of music…so, yeah, sure."

Kuwabara stared at the twitching Ryo. "So what happens if she doesn't get any music?"

"She explodes." Said Lilith matter-of-factly.

Kuwabara's eyes got wide momentarily, and then he chuckled. "Oh, I get it. It's a joke, right?"

"Absolutely not!" said Lilith, a look of mock horror on her face.

The smile dropped off Kuwabara's face. "Wait, so she actually…"

Lilith shook her head. "No, no, no, no, no, it really is a joke…and sarcasm. You don't get out much, do you?"

Hiei spoke up. "He gets out plenty, he's just a fool."

Kuwabara turned to Hiei angrily. "Who's a fool, shrimp?"

Hiei rolled his eyes. "I just said you are. Are you deaf as well as stupid?"

Kuwabara's face was turning red with anger. "Oh yeah, well at least I don't have to order from the kid's menu when I go out to eat!"

Hiei smirked. "I may be short, but you're an idiot; I can grow."

Lilith watched on in amusement, when she was tackled from behind by Ryo. "LILIIIIIIIIITH! HELP MEEEEEEE!"

Lilith jumped. "AAAAAH! Frikkin' god! What was THAT for?"

"I've had the same song stuck in my head for the past week and a half! If I don't get my MP3 player or something else that plays music soon, I'm gonna implode!"

Lilith looked at Kuwabara. "See? I told you so." To Ryo, she sang, "Happy birthday to yooooooou!"

Ryo stomped her foot. "THAT DOESN'T COUNT!"

"ITSASOOOOONG!" said Lilith. Then an idea came to her. "Why don't you just borrow a CD from Kurama or Kuwabara?"

Ryo held her head in her hands. "I'm not in the mood for Japanese music! I wanna listen to Evanescence, and Weird Al, and Flyleaf!"

Lilith shrugged. "You could go get my ipod, I suppose."

Ryo stared at Lilith. "…You had your ipod the whole time?"

"Well, yeah. It was in my pocket when we got here. I never leave home without it."

There was an awkward silence, and then suddenly Ryo shouted, "FRIGGIN' HOOLA WALLA!" and dashed from the room.

Lilith's face was blank, ad then she chuckled, "Hehe…hoolawalla…"

Kurama walked into the room with a confused expression on his face. "Why is Ryo banging her head on the wall?"

Lilith smiled deviously. "Because I only just now told her about my ipod."

Kurama frowned in confusion. "What about your ipod?"

"That it's in my pocket."

Suddenly, Kuwabara said, "Say, if Ryo is really that desperate to listen to music, why don't we go do karaoke?"

Lilith jumped and clapped. "I LOVE karaoke! I'll go tell Ryo!"

After that, they all went to the karaoke bar (dunno what the real thing is called, but it's not an actual BAR). Of course, Lilith and Ryo (mostly Ryo) forced Hiei to come with them. "What makes you think I want to come listen to pointless amateur singing?" he said.

"Because it'll be fun, you get to hear good music, and I'll buy you sweet snow." Replied Ryo.

Hiei pondered this for a moment, and then said, "Let's go."

Upon renting the room, Ryo said, "I call first song!"

While Ryo picked her song from the catalogue, Kurama whispered to Lilith, "Should I brace myself?"

Lilith grinned. "Nah, she's pretty good."

Finally, Ryo stepped onto the stage and picked up the mic. The song she had picked was "Far Away" by Nickelback. As the first notes of the song came on, she seemed to almost sway with the music. Then she started singing. Everyone was enraptured (except obviously Lilith, who already knew about Ryo's mad singing skillz). Even Hiei perked up, even though he tried hard to look bored. Lilith had to chuckle at his feeble attempts to appear uninterested.

When the song was over, Ryo grinned and said, "Well, how was I?"

"Gorgeous dahling!" said Lilith.

"That was fantastic, Ryo." Said Kurama.

"Yeah!" said Kuwabara excitedly. "You're really good!"

Ryo beamed, and then she turned to where Hiei was balancing himself on the windowsill. "Well Hiei? I need your opinion too."

Hiei seemed to shake himself out of his reverie, and then looked away. "It was better than some other humans I've heard."

Ryo nodded, knowing that this was as close to a compliment as she could get from him. Then she turned to the rest of the group. "If you think I'm good, wait 'til you hear Lilith! She's awesome!"

Lilith grinned. "Why thank you m'dear."

Lilith went next, with the cheering of Ryo and Kuwabara and the gentle encouragement of Kurama prodding her along. The song she chose was "Fall to Pieces" by Avril Lavigne. The moment she started singing, Kurama's eyes got wide. How was it possible that two best friends were both blessed with beautiful singing voices? And to top it off, she had outward beauty as well…

Kurama quickly shook his head. What was he thinking? If he got to having thoughts like that, he would never want her to leave. He was brought back to reality just as Lilith ended her song. He clapped with a huge smile on his face as she hopped off the stage. "That was beautiful, Lilith! You're quite talented."

Lilith gave him an eloquent bow. "Thank you very much. You should go next."

Kurama put up his hands in protest. "O, I don't really think you want to hear me sing. I haven't tried singing in years."

Lilith gave him a very serious look. "That wasn't a request – it was an order."

"Come on, Kurama," said Ryo. "We're all curious."

Kurama sweatdropped at the looks everyone was giving him. "Well, if you insist."

He quickly chose his song and hopped onstage. When he started singing, Lilith was surprised; the song was in Japanese (she could tell because none of the lines rhymed), and yet she could understand what he was singing!

Ryo was slightly surprised, but she knew the song he was singing and was enjoying the irony of it too much to care about the broken language barrier. When the song was over, there was much clapping, and Ryo said, "I should have figured you'd choose that song."

Lilith looked puzzled. "How come?"

Ryo grinned. "Because the name of the song means, 'Flower Name'."

Kurama was impressed. "You know that song?"

Ryo nodded. "Yeah, although I have to say, I never imagined you as a BUMP OF CHICKEN kind of person."

Kuwabara jumped up enthusiastically. "It's my turn now!"

The moment he started singing, everyone visibly winced. He couldn't carry a tune if it was glued to his hands! And to make it worse, his voice wasn't suited for the song he was singing ("My Heart Draws a Dream" by L`Arc~En~Ciel). Finally, he finished. He grinned a big grin and said, "Well? I was pretty good, wasn't I?"

Hiei massaged his temple with a frown on his face. "Well, let me put it this way: you sounded like a dying sperm whale, and I would rather listen to that blasted spirit whistle for four hours straight than your infuriating wailing."

Kuwabara glared with a vengeance at Hiei. "Shut up, shrimp! I wasn't asking you, I was asking the girls!"

Ryo grinned. "Well, it's like this, Kuwabara – if we're American Idol judges, that would make Hiei Simon Cowell, and Lilith and I Randy and Paula. And although they may say things that make you feel good about yourself, Simon is usually right."

Kuwabara faceplanted. Lilith looked eagerly at Ryo. "Can I be Paula?"

Ryo pondered this for a moment, and then shrugged. "Yeah, sure. I guess you can be kind of like her sometimes…"

"YAY!" said Lilith.

Hiei smirked. "You see? Even they agree with me."

Kuwabara glared at Hiei. "Oh yeah? I bet you can't do better."

Hiei crossed his arms. "I bet I can."

"Prove it!"

Fine, I will."

Ryo sweatdropped. "Do you even know any human songs?"

Hiei stared at her blankly. "You have to know human songs?"

Cue anime fallover. Ryo sighed. "Do you know any songs at all?"

"Only Makai ones." He replied.

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess that works."

Hiei got on stage and picked up the microphone. He then commenced singing accapella in a strange language. He had a smooth voice that didn't need music to sound good, and the sound of the song was sad and haunting. When he was finished, Kuwabara was sulking, and Kurama was smirking. "I never imagined you as one for lullabies, Hiei."

"Shut up, fox." Said Hiei, rolling his eyes.

As the evening progressed and more songs were sung, everyone was having a wonderful time. At one point, the phone that they used to order their songs rang. Lilith, being the closest, answered it. "Hello?"

"Hello there, this is the staff of Sakura Karaoke. We just want to know if you'd like to order drinks."

"Abso-frikkin'-lutely!" She turned to the rest of the gang. "Whaddaya guys want to drink?"

"Green tea!" called Ryo.

"Same as Ryo." Said Kurama.

"Ooh, ooh! Pepsi!" said Kuwabara excitedly.

Hiei shrugged. "Water."

Lilith listed off their orders, but then was at a loss on what to order for herself. "What else do you guys have?" she asked.

"Well, it is happy hour, and our sake is pretty good."

"Sure, whatever, I'll have that."

Eventually, the drinks were brought. Lilith didn't know what sake was, but she didn't really care, because she was thirsty. She took one sip, and was immediately hooked. Within seconds, that glass was gone with another one on the way. Several glasses later, Ryo seemed to notice the change of personality in her friend. "Lilith, what are you drinking?"

Lilith grinned like an idiot. "I dunno…but it'sh taaaaashty!"

Ryo gave her a strange look. "Are you okay?"

Lilith blinked. "I…am…FANTASTIC!"

By that time, Kurama had noticed the strange goings on. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"I think there's something in Lilith's drink." Said Ryo, as they watched Lilith frolic around the room doing ballerina twirls.

Kurama took a tentative sip of Lilith's drink, and his eyes got wide. "This is sake!"

Ryo Jumped up. "Say WHAT?"

Kurama looked at Lilith with worry. "How many glasses have you had, Lilith?"

Lilith shrugged, still twirling. "I dunno, I losht count after eight…"

Ryo grabbed her hair in frustration. "How could you not tell that drink was alcoholic, Lilith?"

"Because it was tashty!"

Lilith couldn't control her spinning, and ended up running into Kurama and knocking him down. She ended up landing on top of him. "Well hello there, gorgeous!" she said.

And with that, she kissed him. It was deathly silent in the room for a moment, and then everyone (except, obviously, Kurama and Lilith, who were still in lip-lock) burst into laughter. Even Hiei fell off his windowsill from laughing so hard!

Finally, Kurama gently pulled Lilith away from him. The look on his face was priceless! Lilith grinned. "Yer a good kisser." She said.

And with that, she passed out. Kurama was frozen in shock for a moment, and then he glared at everyone. They were still laughing. "I could use a little help here." He said in an irritated voice.

Ryo was gasping for air. "Hang on, I'll help you once I've regained control of my lungs!"

Once she had composed herself, she helped Kurama get Lilith off of him and onto a nearby couch. Chuckling, Ryo said, "I guess this means we're done for the night, huh?"

Kurama nodded. "It would appear so."

Kuwabara howled with laughter. "Oh man, look at him blush!"

Kurama blinked. Was he blushing? His face did feel a little warm. He shook his head. "Anyway, we need to carry her out—"

Suddenly, Lilith popped up in a very comedic fashion. "Oooh, headache…"

Everyone jumped back in surprise. "Wow," said Ryo, "That was quick."

"Mm…what was quick?" asked Lilith in confusion.

Ryo and Kurama looked at each other, then both shook their heads. "Never mind," said Ryo, "Let's just go home."

"Okey-dokey then, but happened?" asked Lilith.

Kuwabara cheerfully started talking. "You mean besides the fact that you k—"

Kurama quickly covered his mouth. "Say anything more and my rose whip is going straight up your rectum."

Kuwabara nodded in fright.

Lilith pouted. "Wait, but I…whaaaat? I wanna knooooow!"

Ryo patted her back comfortingly. "Maybe later, hon. I'd rather not have a rose whip up my rectum."

Hiei snorted. "Getting defensive over something like that, fox? I think you're getting soft."

Kurama glared at him. "Kindly refrain from talking, Hiei."

Lilith looked around the room with a questioning look on her face. Then she frowned. "Hmph, fine. Don't tell me. See if I care."

"Lilith, I'll buy you a Domo energy drink if you forget about tonight." Said Ryo.

"How can I forget something I already don't remember? Wait…WHY DON'T I REMEMBER?"

Ryo leaned down and whispered in Lilith's ear, "Don't worry, be happy!"

Lilith frowned. "Great, now I'm going to have Bobby McFerrin stuck in my head all night."

Ryo grinned. "Any time. Now let's go home."

Kuwabara spoke up. "Let's go somewhere to eat first, I'm hungry!"

"Yeah, me too…and I have a headache." Said Lilith.

Ryo rolled her eyes. "That's your own fault. And I'm craving Thai food."

"How is it my fault?" whined Lilith. "And I want noodles!"

"It just is! And I want friggin' Thai!"

"WELL I WANT NOODLES!"

Kurama stepped between them. "Ladies, it's alright! I'll take Lilith to some place with noodles, and either Hiei or Kuwabara can take Ryo to a Thai restaurant."

Hiei spoke up. "I'll go with Ryo."

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "That was quick. How come?"

"Because I've never had Thai food before."

"Yay, noodles!" said Lilith.

"Kuwabara went to stand next to Kurama and Lilith. "I think I'll come with you guys. Noodles sound good."

"Then it's decided." Said Kurama.

They split up, Kurama, Kuwabara, and Lilith going left, and Ryo and Hiei going right. There was an awkward silence between Ryo and Hiei for a moment, and then Hiei asked, "So what is Thai food, anyway?"

Ryo shrugged. "Mostly stir-fry with various amounts of spiciness added, although I like mine un-spicy, personally."

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Is 'un-spicy' even a word?"

Ryo grinned. "It is in my dictionary."

Hiei rolled his eyes and scratched his arm. Ryo looked at him curiously. "Say, isn't that the arm that got shot?"

"Hm? Yeah, what of it?"

"Can I see?"

Hiei stared at her incredulously. "What for?"

"I just wanna look! Now lemme see!" said Ryo, reaching for his arm.

Hiei shied away. "No."

"Lemme see!"

"No!"

Lemme see!"

"No!"

"LEMME SEE!"

"NO!"

After much wrestling, she finally managed to roll his sleeve up past where his wound was. She stared in shock. There, still stuck to his arm, was the Scooby-Doo band-aid that she had stuck there a week ago. "You…still have that?"

He yanked his arm away, a dusting of red gracing his cheeks. "So what?"

She was still staring at him. "But…your wound must have healed by now…"

He started to walk away. "Maybe it has and maybe it hasn't! Can we just get going? I though you were hungry!"

She just stood there, watching him walk away for a moment. Then she grinned like an idiot and ran to catch up to him.

Que: Sorry this chapter is so unrealistic on the karaoke aspect!

Vee: And people falling in a hole and coming out in an alternate dimension is realistic?

Que: True. So long folks! And remember…

Vee: No reviews, no new chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

Que: Hey guys! Bet you thought we were dead, didn't ya?

Vee: We practically are.

Que: But that's beside the point! So finals nearly killed me and you're sick; what matters is that we're here now, after, what, a year? It's about time we updated!

Vee: Even though the story is a crackfic that we started when we were high on sugar?

Que: **ahem** Yes, even so. Also, whatever fans are left, you don't have to worry about the whole 'story can't be updated until Vee sleeps over' thing any more.

Vee: And that's because I live with Que and her family now!

Que: That's right! So now we'll stop talking and let you read the chapter that was typed with our own blood, sweat and tears…figuratively speaking…

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters in any way, shape, or form. We only own our OCs, which you are not allowed to use without our permission. We also do not own the Wizard of Oz, McDonald's, or Monster energy drink.

* * *

Chapter 9

By the time Kurama, Lilith and Kuwabara got to the ramen stand, Kuwabara thought his head was going to explode. Lilith wouldn't shut up! She talked about everything from her pet dog that wasn't actually her pet but instead belonged to someone else and they were just keeping an eye on it, to funny experiences that she and Ryo had been through together. And to top it all off, every time he came too close to telling Lilith about her drunken adventures, Kurama would give him a glare that sent chills down his spine. Still, it was better than eating with the shrimp.

They sat down at the stand, and Kuwabara immediately recognized the man at the counter. "Urameshi!" He said happily.

Yusuke grinned at the sight of his curly-haired friend. "S'up, man? I haven't seen you in a while!"

Kuwabara leaned against the counter. "I know! So how are the noodles tonight?"

"Hot, fresh and tasty! What can I get for you all?"

Lilith, who usually had trouble making decisions, was the first to order. "Chicken ramen!"

Kurama nodded. "Same as Lilith."

"Beef ramen for me, Urameshi!" said Kuwabara enthusiastically.

"Comin' right up," said Yusuke, firing up…whatever he used to make the ramen.

While Yusuke was cooking, Lilith noticed a man on the corner who was selling balloon animals, and immediately ran to meet him. Kurama followed her to make sure she didn't wander too far. Kuwabara turned to look at Yusuke. "Seriously though, I haven't seen you around at all!"

Yusuke gave a sad nod. "I know, I'm supposed to be the main character, and I've only appeared one other time in this fanfiction."

"What?"

"What?"

Kuwabara shook his head in confusion. "Ah, never mind. How's Keiko?"

Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Don't even get me started! She keeps bugging me about, 'when are you going to propose to me for real, Yusuke?' or 'ever heard of a little thing called responsibility or commitment?' Damn that woman, does it look like I can afford to buy her a ring right now? I work at a ramen stand for crying out loud!"

Kuwabara raised an eyebrow. "Wow, so are you going to break up with her?"

Yusuke grinned. "Hell no, I love her! She just gets on my nerves sometimes."

Kuwabara laughed. He then turned and looked to where Lilith and Kurama were standing. Lilith was jumping up and down with excitement as the balloon man made something for her. Kurama had his face turned away from him, so he couldn't tell what the fox demon was thinking. Not that he ever could.

"You know something, Urameshi?" he said musingly, "I think there's something going on between those two. Romantic-wise, I mean."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow as he poured ramen into a bowl. "Yeah? What makes you say that?"

Kuwabara shrugged. "Dunno, call it a hunch, I guess."

As Yusuke looked carefully at the two mentioned, he began to see what the young psychic meant. He didn't know about Kurama, but Lilith was definitely flirting with the redhead. She had her balloon animal now, so when Kurama turned around, Yusuke signaled to him that the food was ready. Kurama carefully dragged Lilith away from the balloon man. She happily trotted back to the ramen stand. "Look, I got a giraffe!" she said, proudly showing off her balloon animal.

Kuwabara grinned. "I'm surprised you didn't get a fox."

Lilith just gave him a curious look and sat down to eat her food. Kurama rolled his eyes and also sat down. "How are you, Yusuke?" he asked, "Had any interesting cases lately?"

Yusuke shrugged. "Besides the usual idiots asking for Koto's autograph or a strand of Juri's hair, nothing. I've been totally bored."

"Hasn't school been keeping you busy?" asked Kuwabara, slurping his noodles.

Yusuke let out a loud laugh. "Are you kidding? I quit that weeks ago! I'm not wasting my time on school."

Kuwabara grinned. "You know what this means, right? I'm gonna be smarter than you!"

Yusuke snorted. "Keep dreaming, dude."

Suddenly, Lilith spoke up. "Giuseppe."

Everyone stared at her. Finally, Kuwabara said, "What?"

"Dude, I named my giraffe Giuseppe."

Kurama chuckled. "That's an interesting name for a giraffe."

"I know."

Yusuke looked around. "Say, where's that other one? The blond chick?"

"She went with shorty to some Thai restaurant," said Kuwabara through a mouthful of noodles.

Yusuke chuckled. "Wow, I never thought I'd see the day when Hiei went on a date."

Lilith grinned. "He really shouldn't be dating until he's older."

Kuwabara laughed loudly, spewing ramen everywhere. "You're too funny, Lilith! It's nice to find someone who hates the shrimp as much as I do!"

Yusuke playfully punched Kuwabara in the shoulder. "Aw, come on Kuwabara, you know you don't hate him."

Lilith pouted. "He may not, but there's a strong possibility that I do."

Kurama shook his head. "Really Lilith, how long are you going to hold a grudge?"

"What did he do to you anyway?" asked Yusuke.

"He was mean to me about my sarcasticism!" Lilith frowned.

Kurama sighed. "Perhaps you should eat your noodles, Lilith."

At his words, Lilith's mind went blank, and all she could think of to say was, "…Your mom eats noodles."

There was a moment of silence, and then all three boys burst into laughter. Finally, Yusuke said, "I think I like this chick."

Lilith shrugged. "Well, that makes one of you."

"Not just one…" Kurama said softly.

Lilith blushed and stuffed her face with noodles. Seeing the red on Lilith's face, Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged knowing grins. "So," said Yusuke, smirking, "How do you like your noodles?"

Lilith swallowed. "It's…" she said, looking dramatically into the distance, "…Different."

Yusuke laughed. "You must be used to that instant crap. Ain't nothing instant or crappy about my stuff."

Lilith pouted. "It's not crappy, it's tasty!" Her features softened. "But yours is good too."

Yusuke shrugged. "Ah well, it's going to take a while to convert you."

She smiled and said, "Good luck."

\/\

Meanwhile, Ryo and Hiei had found a small Thai restaurant on the other side of town. Upon entering, they were immediately seated and handed menus. Ryo was still grinning about the band-aid thing, while Hiei was focusing on the menu. ""What do these numbers mean?"

Ryo took a look at where he was pointing. "That's the spiciness scale. 1 is the mildest, 5 is the spiciest."

Hiei nodded, but didn't say anything. There was an awkward silence between them, and then suddenly Ryo chuckled. Hiei looked up, an eyebrow raised. "Is reading a menu really that entertaining for you?"

Ryo shook her head. "Nah, I was just remembering the look on Kurama's face when Lilith kissed him; it was priceless!"

Hiei chuckled. I've never seen the fox look so flustered."

A waitress wandered by. "Are you ready to order?"

Ryo scanned the menu. "I guess I'll take the Khao-man-kai."

The waitress scribbled down her order. "And what level of spice would you like for that?"

"Oh, one please, I can't handle hot food."

The waitress nodded and turned to Hiei. "And for you sir?"

Hiei shrugged. "Whatever she's having."

"Alright," she said, writing it down, "And the spice level?"

"Five."

Ryo and the waitress stared at him. "What?" he said, irritably.

"Sir, you know that's the highest level of spice you can get, right?" asked the waitress warily.

He rolled his eyes. "I know, that's why I ordered it."

The waitress still looked skeptical, but Ryo just shrugged and said, "Let him have it. If he doesn't like it, he'll have learned his lesson."

The waitress bowed and walked off. Hiei glared at Ryo. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She looked up innocently. "Nothing, nothing."

He rolled his eyes. "Are all humans from your dimension as strange as you are?"

She grinned. "Well, I'd like to think I'm unique in my weirdness."

They were both quiet for a moment, and then Hiei asked, "What is your dimension like?"

Ryo got a far away look as she thought of her home. "Well, I guess it's a lot like this one, except there aren't any ghosts, or demons, or…anything interesting, really."

Hiei looked slightly interested. "Where do you go after you die?"

She shrugged. "That's up for debate. I personally believe you go to Heaven if you're good and Hell if you're bad, but a popular theory is that nothing happens – you just sort of…disappear."

He pondered this thought for a bit. Finally, he asked, "If this really is what happens, then what's the point in living?"

Ryo considered this, and then shrugged and said, "I don't know, but they do it anyways."

They talked about various other philosophical things, and then the waitress brought their food. After setting the food down, she waited close by. Ryo raised an eyebrow. "Did you need something?"

The waitress looked sheepish. "Well, to be honest, I kind of wanted to see his reaction to his food."

Hiei glared at her. "What's the big deal? It's just food!"

As if to prove his point, he took a huge bite of his food. Ryo and the waitress watched him with baited breath. He chewed for a while, and then he swallowed and said, "Not bad, I shall have to have this, 'Thai food' again."

The two girls both stared at him in shock for a moment, and then Ryo burst out laughing, causing the waitress to jump and Hiei to twitch. She then turned to the waitress and said, "Well, you got his reaction, now I'm sure you have other customers waiting, who will probably give you more satisfying ones than he did."

The waitress blinked, and then bowed and walked off, shaking her head in amazement. Hiei growled in frustration. "If you don't mind too terribly, would you mind telling me what's so funny about me eating?"

"It's not you eating that's so funny," giggled Ryo, "It's that you barely reacted to such spicy food!"

"But it's not that spicy!" he said in frustration. "I'll prove it to you!"

And then, before she could stop him, he popped a piece of the spicy goodness into her mouth. Her eyes widened as she realized what he had done, and then the heat started hitting her in waves, setting the whole inside of her mouth on fire. Her eyes began to water. She swallowed the piece, hoping that would alleviate the pain, but all it did was send a burning sensation down her throat. She frantically guzzled her water, and when that wasn't enough, drank Hiei's as well. The demon in question simply watched with curiosity. "You really find it that unbearable, do you?"

"No foolin'," she muttered through a mouthful of rice, which she had taken to shoveling into her mouth after both of the waters were gone."

"…Why didn't you just spit it out?"

"I panicked, okay?" she shouted, glaring at him.

He shook his head, smirking. "If that's how you react to every tough situation, you'll be dead pretty soon."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not like I plan on getting into any life-threatening situations."

He grew serious, gazing out the window. "Those aren't the kind of situations you can plan for."

As Ryo watched Hiei get lost in his thoughts, an epiphany creeped upon her. It took a minute for it to reach her, what with her studying his distant expression and pondering his previous statement, but at last she came upon a realization that wasn't exactly new, but freshened in her mind.

"You've been through a lot, haven't you?"

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "If it took you that long to figure out—"

"No no," she interrupted, "I mean, I suppose I knew it all along, but…it never really dawned on me just how much crap you had to put up with. It was kind of like, 'Oh, he was ostracized by his people and raised by thieves; yep, his life sucks,' but I never really considered how hard it must have been on you."

He scoffed and shook his head. "I don't need your pity. Everything I've gone through has only made me stronger, and I don't regret any of it."

"…Even not being able to tell Yukina that you're related?" asked Ryo sympathetically.

His head whipped around to face Ryo, his face dark. "So you know about that, do you?"

The look on his face was making her uncomfortable, and she began squirming in her seat. "Well, yeah, I've read the whole series that you and the other three spirit detectives are in, so I know a lot about all of you."

There was an awkward silence between them, and then Hiei leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms. "If you ever tell Yukina—"

"Oh no," reassured Ryo, "As much as I think she should know, I know it's not a good idea to go changing the plotline. Besides," she smirked, "I have a feeling she already knows."

He looked very alarmed at this prospect. "You mean someone told her? Was it that stupid detective? I'll kill him!"

"No, no one said anything," she chuckled, "It's just one of those things where you can just tell."

Hiei furrowed his brow in confusion. "…That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

She shrugged. "Hey, it's not the strangest thing I've ever said, so maybe you'll have to stick around to hear some of the stranger things."

He sighed. "I'm not sure how much more of your strangeness I can take."

She scoffed. "Bro, you haven't seen anything yet."

They finished their food, chatting between bites. When Ryo next looked out the window, the sun was low on the horizon. "Dang, how'd it get so late? We should regroup with the other three."

Hiei was also surprised at the amount of time that had passed. Once again, he was having a (semi)normal conversation with little to no sarcasm. Had the world turned upside down on him when he wasn't looking? What was it about this woman that made him let down his guard?

He observed her as she paid for the food, as if trying to find the answers to his questions in her face. It was an ordinary face; pale, a little acne here and there, but otherwise pretty. She smiled as she chatted with the waitress, and it was a gentle but fun-loving smile. A dimple appeared at the corner of her mouth with every grin. She pushed her glasses up her nose, as if to show off her blue eyes. He hadn't really met anyone with blue eyes who wasn't a demon, and it seemed kind of exotic.

As Ryo finished up her conversation, she turned and caught Hiei staring. She smirked and said, "Can't resist my inherent sexiness, huh?"

Hiei quickly looked away, cursing himself for being so interested in a human. "Shut up, I find you about as sexy as I find Kurama to be."

She raised an eyebrow. "Wow, according to some of your fans, that's pretty sexy."

He growled in frustration and stood up so fast he nearly upset his chair. "Are we going or what?"

She chuckled and stood up as well. "Okay then, let's head out. We can meet the rest of them back at the house."

The whole way home, Hiei pondered this strange teen from another dimension.

* * *

Que: …

Vee: Okay, for some reason Que has gone into shock. Que, what's the deal?

Que: …Graphospasm…

Vee: Excuse me?

Que: I just looked at the reviews for the story…Graphospasm was one of the reviewers!

Vee: …And I should care about this because?

Que: She's one of the top dogs of the YYH fanfiction world! It's like having…Christopher Paolini saying he liked your book!

Vee: …Whatever you say.

Que: Anyway, we fully admit to it now; this is basically a half-crackfic. I'm more okay with it now though, because of all of the nice reviews people have been leaving us. Thank you all!

Vee: And review or we'll eat your livers.

Que: Vee!

Vee: What?


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